Black and Blue
by crookedsmile
Summary: The most wonderful thing about sin is it feels good. nah this is a KC fic...
1. Chapter 1

**Warning: This fan fiction is not for young readers and some may find it offensive. Suitable for _mature_ readers only.**

It's Friday night and everyone's out to have some fun. A blonde-haired girl wearing a flattering lilac dress sits on an empty bar, waiting.

She was holding a cigar, and puffs away as the second hand of her watch ticks.

Beneath her dark eyelashes were those golden brown eyes, affixed on the bottle of vodka that the bartender was holding.

She bit her lower lip and it turns red. She was tapping the table.

For minutes she stayed that way, anticipating… a little impatient.

From the other side a man entered. He was wearing a dark brown trench coat and a hat… hiding his brown-colored hair.

His violet eyes roamed around in search for someone.

He found what he had been looking for.

She didn't notice him coming. He went nearer until he was about an inch behind her. Instinctively placed his hand on her waist, encircling them with such possession. He ran those skillful hands beneath the buttons of her dress. Deeper… until it reaches the curves of her breasts.

She knew it was he. So she laid back and relished the feeling that he was giving her.

His lips touched her neck, and searched for her ears.

"I miss you," he whispered.

"Me too…" she answered.

They left the place and went somewhere private.

This night was theirs and nobody can stop them.

He was holding her beneath his hips, with her thighs encircling him. She was gasping for air. He let himself go… and they were united.

The feeling was heady. Making love to her… brings magnificent feeling to him.

More than just satisfaction of lust.

He cradled her in his arms as they drift in a dreamless sleep.

**Seven-thirty in the morning**...

She woke up alone in her bed. Got the clock and figured that she failed to set the alarm. Her head was reeling…. Too tired to get up.

She closed her eyes and thought for a while.

After opening them once more, she got out of bed. Brushed her teeth… took a shower.

_What's for breakfast? _She thought.

She got some toast ready, and some sausage.

Sitting on her dining area, eating all alone.

Her phone rang. He sent her a message.

_I had to leave because I have to take my wife to her gynecologist. I'm sorry._

_Looking forward to see you…love._

She smiled. A painful crooked little smile etched on her face.

She opened the window right next to her table.

Two lovebirds were there, feeding their young.

It made her laugh even more.

_I'll see you soon brother…_

**This is chapter 1 of my 3rd KC fic. Hope you guys like it...**


	2. Trick or Treat

_**Trick or Treat**_

" Aren't you going with me to the party?" Lacus asked her husband as she wears her lingerie under the glow of candlelight.

They were supposed to throw a Halloween party but they ended up as guests as plans changed a day before the event. The candles that were supposed to be used as decorations weren't put to waste.

"You know I hate going out during Halloweens," Kira answered.

"C'mon, Luna would be sad if we didn't come." The pink-haired lady went to the sofa where her husband's settling. She sat on his lap and began nibbling his left ear.

"Or… you want to do _more interesting_ stuff than partying…" she teased.

"No. I just want to stay indoors," Kira replied.

She remained settled in his lap. Silent. Then she ran her hands towards the collar of his shirt- downwards.

"Okay, I'll go by myself, but I'll come back soon."

She stood and went towards the closet to get her costume.

"Wait for me… Don't sleep."

She was like a medieval witch in her costume. Infectiously beautiful, as her hair spills over the square cut bodice of her gown, exposing almost half of her breasts.

Breathtakingly gorgeous.

"Anyway, I haven't told you… Shinn will be there," she said as she walked towards the door.

She said it to make him jealous. Shinn was her ex-boyfriend. Kira understood what she meant, so he pretended to play the part- of the jealous husband.

"Don't do anything with him," he said lazily.

Lacus smiled. She heard what she wanted to hear.

"Sure…"

The door was shut, and he was all-alone.

He waited for about three minutes- then got up and reached the phone.

Dialed the familiar number. There was a ring, and then another.

"Hello?" A voice answered.

"Trick or treat?" he said with a smile in his face.

"What do you plan to do if I chose the first one?"

" Chose the second one," he insisted.

" Where?" the voice understood what he meant.

"Not here," Kira answered.

"I see. You didn't come with _her_."

"No."

"You can spend the night here. I bet she won't come back 'till tomorrow."

"Good idea," he said.

Their conversation ended. He hurriedly went to the closet and changed.

Twenty minutes after, he was standing at her doorway.

Holding the familiar pumpkin lamp, with some candies on his left hand. He wasn't wearing any costume, just himself. He was always in his own natural self when he's with her- no pretension.

The door opened and she was on the other side, wearing that too familiar smile. Her golden-brown eyes glittered as the glow of the lamp strikes her face.

"Trick or Treat?"

She smiled once more. The door was shut.

His eyes were locked against hers. Half naked in his arms, he began to trace the contour of her spine… and lower.

She giggled.

"Like that, don't you?"

She laughed.

"Kira, remember when we were kids…"

He was too preoccupied with making out when she muttered the question.

"What?"

"When we were kids, we used to play hide and seek."

He paused for a while to think. He remembered.

**(Flashback)**

He was hiding under their parent's bed, waiting for her. He was quite anxious because it's been five minutes and she hasn't come after him.

They were playing hide and seek.

_Maybe she got tired of looking for me_- he thought.

But still, he waited.

Ten minutes. Then fifteen. It was already uncomfortable for him. It was very hot under that bed, and dust was beginning to irritate hi nose.

He sneezed and got out of his hiding place.

Cagalli did forget about their game. She was in the kitchen, watching her mother bake some sweet tart for their dessert.

The roasted almonds smell wonderful, that Kira almost forgot his anger as he entered the kitchen.

"There you are. We haven't finished our game"

"Oh, I'm sorry!" Cagalli exclaimed.

"What happened to you son? You have dust all over," their mom worriedly said.

"I bet you hid under mom and dad's bed," Cagalli concluded.

"Yeah," Kira answered.

Almond tarts are delicious. Both of them love it. They ate everything that their mom baked.

It was ten-thirty and Kira was still awake. Cagalli's bed was right next to him Back then, they were sharing rooms, and it was after grade school that Cagalli decided to have her own.

"Cagalli, are you still awake?"

"Hmm… Yeah. Why?"

"Nothing…"

Cagalli sat up and turned her lamp on. Kira was on sitting on his bed, with his head propped on his knees.

"If mom finds out that we're still awake, we won't have pancakes tomorrow, so go count some sheep or something. Just get some sleep," she said.

"Hey, you still owe me for the game. You cheated," he answered.

"No. I didn't," she fired back.

"Yes you did. You pretended that you're helping mom, when in truth, you're afraid you wouldn't find me."

"No," she insisted.

They were already having a verbal argument. But none of the words matter. Something was on Kira's mind. During those times that he was waiting for her… it was like eternity has passed. He didn't understand it back then… the feeling of emptiness when she's not around. When she wasn't there, needing him. He understood it when he was older enough to figure out how he truly feels about her.

"Fine. I will not play with you again," she said as she grabs her pillow to cover her face. She was already sneering at him.

"Hey, I'm sorry…" Kira whispered.

"You're like an ogre. A filthy bitter ogre," she said under her pillow.

"I'm not mad at you anymore. So don't be mad at me okay?"

She didn't answer.

"I'll give you my share of pancakes tomorrow…"

No reply.

"You could have my baseball cap. You want it don't you?"

Silence.

He knew she wouldn't take his offerings. She's always like that… her passive silence was certainly effective enough for him to surrender.

But he remembered something else... something that would make her talk to him.

"If you won't talk to me, I'll _kiss _you," he muttered.

Cagalli's eyes snapped open. She doesn't know the feeling of being kissed. In grade school, her classmates were talking about 'kissing'. She didn't like the thought of it. She was having weird imaginations of how this is done, so she didn't like it.

Kira knows how to kiss. At least from those movies that he had watched, without his parent's consent. In his young mind, he had wanted to kiss a girl… and surprisingly, it was Cagalli whom he wanted to share his first kiss.

She sat up and looked at him, with her golden brown eyes locked on his violet ones.

But still she didn't speak.

They were sitting right in front of each other, having this odd feeling, creeping on their sleeves. They were both ten years old. Too young to understand… and commit what they had been doing now.

They did kiss however, but it was five years later.

It was Cagalli's first kiss, but it wasn't for Kira.

He was walking with her after school when they decided to have ice cream at the nearby park. She said she had a crush on this senior guy whom Kira knew, and she asked him if he could get the guy's number. He refused and said that she was too young for stuff like 'that' and that she's acting like a cheap stalker.

"Well excuse me, I'm not the one whose dating the cheerleader and flirting with her best friend at the same time," she sneered at him.

"I will not give you his number and that's final."

They were both silent after that.

She stood and started to leave, but he held her back.

Tears were flowing on Cagalli's eyes, as the cold wind lifts off her skirt. Too high, that she instinctively bent herself to hold it. Kira on the other hand held her as the wind grows stronger. He bowed to carry her bag for himself. But as her face moved towards his direction, or perhaps his face towards hers, their lips accidentally met.

They kissed. Her lips were salty because of the tears. His was sweet because of the ice cream.

They never spoke to each other until they reached home.

Kira remembered all of these in a span of seconds.

A faint smile curved on his lips.

She was lying in chest, and their eyes met.

"What are you thinking? About our hide ad seek?"

"No." His eyes were so warm… they were full of love.

"I was thinking of our first kiss," Kira replied.

"Did you really mean to kiss me back then?" She asked him.

"No, it was all an accident. But I never held back when it happened."

He took a deep breath, and then continued.

" I used to scare you- that I'll kiss you if you won't talk to me. In truth, I wanted to kiss you that night."

"Ha, and you didn't. You just stared at me," she said.

"Now…" he said while running his hands through her hair.

"I never thought my dream would come true."

She reached out and gave him a long, passionate kiss. No words after that, for they were completely dissolved at each other's arms, sharing this forbidden passion, out of their forbidden love.

Meanwhile, Lacus already arrived at Luna's house.

She had the spotlight when she arrived. All of the people, especially the male population, gaped at this natural seductress on her costume.

"Lacus!" Luna exclaimed as she ran towards her.

They pressed a light kiss on each other's cheek, and talked for some time.

"Where is your husband?" Luna asked.

"Afraid to go out during Halloweens," she replied.

"That strange guy… Why did you marry that weirdo again? Remind me please…" Luna said sourly. She dislikes Kira for her best friend and she frankly discloses the feeling.

"Luna, he's my husband now, so I don't want to hear you talk like that,' Lacus warned.

From a distance, the handsome man beneath a demon mask smiled upon the sight of Lacus… his medieval princess, ready to be abducted anytime.

"Excuse me, I'll just greet the other guests," Luna said.

"Sure…"

Left alone, Lacus went to the bar for some margarita.

A man wearing a demon mask anticipated her as she walked along the lobby.

"I never thought I'd see a beautiful princess tonight," he said.

Hearing the familiar voice, she turned to meet this man's stare and said.

"I'm not a princess, but a witch. And you… shouldn't walk around wearing that ugly mask."

"Have you missed me my love," the man answered.

"Don't call me that, people might hear," she warned.

"Why, your husband really tempered you down. Where's that fiery woman that I've met?"

He pulled her against his arms as he removed his mask. With a lazy smile on his lips, the voice under this ugly mask turned out to be a good-looking gentleman. His dark hair and smoky eyes means he isn't looking for just an ordinary conversation.

"Shinn…" Lacus said as his lips touched hers.

He kissed her long and languorously, holding her nape, and pulling her hips towards him.

Lacus was the first one to recover as she felt his hands went on her breast.

"No. No, please, I'm a married woman now."

He gave a sarcastic laugh. " Since when did that bother _you_?"

She slowly pulled away from him.

"I see, your husband's too lazy to party huh," Shinn said.

"I'll leave early, he'll be waiting for me," Lacus said without looking.

"No, he won't. He's already on his mistress right now…" Shinn joked.

"He wouldn't do that." Lacus glared at him.

Shinn just smiled at her.

"Maybe _we _could do _it_, you know…"

"Stop it Shinn, we're over."

She moved away from him. He didn't bother pulling her back.

"Yeah, we're over," he said meekly.

Three hours have passed, and then four. It was already 2 o'clock in the morning.

"I told you she couldn't take it, but you insisted on giving her more!"

Luna scolded Shinn as he carries Lacus in his arms. The party's almost over and guests are starting to leave.

"She shouldn't go home like that or else Kira would definitely kill me!" Luna added.

"I could take her to my place," Shinn said, while looking at his drunken princess.

"No. I know what you're thinking…" Luna said suspiciously.

"Then what should we do?"

"You two-stay here with me," Luna concluded.

"What?"

" No more arguments Shinn."

"Fine."

Luna dialed Kira's number.

Kira was already sound asleep on Cagalli's bed. His phone kept on ringing. It was Cagalli that was awakened by the noisy ringing.

Half-consciously, she was about to answer the call, but she immediately realized what she was about to do.

"Kira… Kira… phone call." She whispered in his ear.

Kira opened his eyes and answered the call.

"Hello?"

"It's me, Luna."

"Why…"

"Your wife will be staying here. Don't wait for her."

"Okay." Then he hangs up.

_Strange_- Luna thought.

"He didn't even bother asking_ 'what the hell happened to my wife'_, the fact that she's with _you_," she said to Shinn.

Cagalli asked what happened.

"Luna said Lacus would be spending the night there."

"I see…"

Kira grabbed her waist and said.

"Since I'm not obliged to go home yet, maybe we could continue what we had earlier."

She was again locked in his arms with his eyes on hers.

And the world didn't matter.


	3. We Weave the Strings

**_We Weaved the Strings_**

_Tie a knot to bring things together. Weave the strings to make something beautiful out of mayhem._

It was the twenty-third of May, the season for harvest. They were heading towards an ancestral residence outside the city. She was sleeping at the back of the car, while he was enjoying the view of the sunbathed fields.

Their parents were talking about selling the house, since it was already five years when their grandparents died, and the expense of maintaining the household is beginning to burden their pockets. This was their last visit to the place before it is to be completely handed off.

They were seventeen by then, both within the same academy, and on the same section.

He was staring at the glass window that reflects her view at the back. The sun is high and the wind is dry.

They weren't talking for about three weeks because of some serious fight. He caught her making out with a guy during the school's summer party. He was so mad that he dragged her out of the place after punching the guy on the face. She was screaming and cursing him until they reached home. Their parents weren't around.

"You bastard! You don't have any right to do this to me!" She was burning with fury.

"I have a right to do whatever I damn please because you are my _responsibility_!" he fired back.

"I don't care if _you_ make out with a dozen of girls out there. I don't even give a damn if you fuck _all_ of them!" she _lied_, remembering that time when she caught him with some freshman in the locker room. She was jealous back then, but then she was didn't want to admit it. " But you… you are selfish! You don't even want me to be happy!"

" Oh I see…does sex make you happy?" he sneered at her.

"Unreasonable monster," she said coldly. Tears were burning her eyes, but she wasn't sure of the reason for them. She had wanted to make him jealous, but she wasn't happy with everything that transpired, She knew what she was feeling was wrong. It was wrong to fall in love with your brother. But no matter how hard she tried to avoid the feeling she couldn't make it stop.

She had no idea he'd been suffering the same agony as she was. That night, he almost thought of beating some sense into her, of making her realize that he didn't want anything else- but to be with her.

The walls were closing in and they were stranded on both sides.

They were staring at each other's eyes. She was trying to control herself. Tried not to cry anymore. He was staring at her flushed face. She was biting her lower lip to control the sobs. He was cursing himself for breaking her spirit. But he didn't say sorry.

"So, we're here," their mother said.

Both of them got out of the car- on opposite doors.

"What's wrong with those two?" their father asked.

"It's been three weeks. I have no idea how it started," their mother replied.

The house was obviously old. The framework was wood and the ceiling was high. A big chandelier hangs down from the center of the roof and the panels were stained glass.

"We'll be staying here for a week…" Mrs. Hibiki said. "As you can see, there are only two functional rooms. One will be ours and the other, for you two."

"What?" Cagalli exclaimed.

"No way!" Kira complained.

"Hey, I know you've been ignoring each other for the past three weeks. Your mom and I decided to leave the two of you here while we talk to the potential buyer at the nearby town. Behave yourselves- no fighting," their father warned.

Both of them didn't respond after that. Their parents didn't know what was _really_ happening between them. It's not just a childish dispute.

The day has passed but still, they weren't talking to each other.

"What's for dinner?" Kira asked his mom.

"I'm preparing potato salad and your favorite- _chicken cacciatore_."

"That's nice…"

"Kira…"

"Yes mom?"

"Please, have patience with Cagalli. She's not as mature as you are, but I don't want to see you like this," their mom pleaded.

"Mom… you…don't understand."

"Whatever it is that happened, you're still my children. When daddy and I are gone, please take care of your sister Kira."

It sounded like a premonition. And it was.

"Yes mom," Kira answered.

She was lying on the other side of the bed, with her back turned against him. Kira was looking at the ceiling. He thought she already gone asleep. But she wasn't.

Sharing the same bed with him isn't comfortable at all for Cagalli.

Kira was thinking about their mother's words.

"Hey, are you still awake?" he asked her.

No response.

She was pretending to be asleep. Not replying, as she always does.

"Mom said that I have to take care of you. But I guess I'm not doing the part," he confessed.

She lay still.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done, what I did back then. It was selfish of me indeed. From now on, I will not interfere with your doings. But remember that I'll always be here if you needed me."

She moved the sheets to cover her face. She was crying. He noticed it.

He moved under the covers and saw her shivering. He pulled her towards him.

"Don't cry," he pleaded.

"I am the one who is selfish. I'm sorry too," she sobbed.

"Just don't go around making out with other guys okay? Especially if I'm around," he joked- but there was pain in his voice.

It was 5:30 but the sun's already up. They were already awake, preparing breakfast for their parents.

Mr. and Mrs. Hibiki went to the dinning area, and were surprised to hear noises in the kitchen. They went closer to see.

Cagalli was wearing her mother's apron and Kira was holding the pan. It looks like they were having some trouble with their dish.

"It is salty," Cagalli commented as she sips the soup from the pan.

"You placed a tablespoon of salt when there should be only half," Kira blamed his sister.

"Well I wasn't sure of the measurements sir Einstein!" Cagalli sneered.

"Oh my, they're fighting again," Mr. Hibiki whispered.

The breakfast wasn't that good, but their parents were very appreciative of their effort.

"It's salty, but it's fine. It's the first time that you do this so it's forgivable," their father said.

"I won't be as good as mom in cooking," Cagalli said with regret.

"Don't worry, you'll learn how to do it. Just have some patience," Mrs. Hibiki said.

"By the way, your mom and I are leaving for a while. We received a call last night from the buyer of this house. We'll meet him today. I think we won't be back until supper."

"So it means _we'll_ cook right?" Kira concluded.

"No, we'll just buy food," their mother suggested.

After breakfast, their parents prepared for their appointment and left.

They were watching the car as it skids away.

"Kira, take care of you sister," Mrs. Hibiki said before leaving.

"Yes mom."

Those were the last words that they ever heard from their parents.

That afternoon, they decided to take a walk in the fields.

Kira said he'd pick some wild corn and roast them, like their father always does when they were still kids.

"Okay, I'll go with you," Cagalli decided.

It was three in the afternoon. The heat was scorching and the wind is dry. She was wearing a hat while following him as he walked towards the cornfields. There is a small stream near the place, so they decided to go there too.

The basket was filled with corn, and they stopped over a large mango tree.

"Are we going to cook these right now?" he asked.

"We don't have wood to start a fire."

" Dry leaves will do."

The sun's already retreating. It was five thirty. Kira started to build a small fire under the shade. The corncobs were removed, and placed over the burning leaves.

"It smell's good,' Cagalli said as each of the corns begin to cook over the fire.

He was watching the corns as they turn into golden brown- much like her eyes.

The silence between them was all that they can share.

The food was done.

"Let's dig in," he said smiling.

They shared a simple meal, but there was more to it. For the hearts that never spoke their true feelings, silence is the key that holds the message. Though it wasn't clear back then.

They arrived at home at about seven.

He was leading the way while she followed. There are few people standing on their gate. The police car was also there. Kira felt something strange has happened. He immediately ran towards the gate.

The town sheriff anticipated the boy running towards him.

"Sir, are you Kira Hibiki?"

"Yes."

"I'm, afraid there's a bad news."

The man told Kira about the accident that befallen involving their parents.

" The breaks of the car ran out and the tires exploded. Your father lost control of the car and it ran towards a post. I'm sorry. It was too late when they were taken to the hospital."

Kira didn't understand what he heard. Or perhaps he didn't want to. Cagalli was standing a few feet behind him.

The man talking to Kira gave her a sorrowful look.

"Poor children," one of the cops said.

"Kira, what happened to mom and dad?"

He didn't answer.

"What?"

She already figured out what happened by looking at his teary eyes.

The food that they prepared for their parents laid on the ground. Wasted.

Everything happened so fast. They arranged their parents' burial, the house that was supposed to be sold, the insurance. They grew up in a span of weeks.

A month after, he was with her - preparing dinner. They weren't speaking to each other like they used to. Perhaps because they didn't want to remember those days when warmth surrounded their family. It was deadly cold.

"I got hired as a computer technician," he said as he dips his spoon on the salty soup.

"My application as research assistant hasn't been considered, but I think I'll get the job," she said to him.

Two sentences.

He stood and fixed the dishes.

She went to the bedroom. Locked the door.

That night, it was as if the world had turned upside down and fate turned its back against them. He was staring at the ceiling. He couldn't sleep.

He remembered what their mom said.

"_Take care of your sister Kira."_

He stood and went towards her room. Knocked twice.

"Yes?" the voice behind the door asked.

"Can I sleep here?"

She opened the door. Saw him with his misty eyes. He stepped inside -pulled her towards his arms. He embraced her- never planning to let go as the sobs went louder.

It was the first time that they cried like this.

For the loss of their parents, or for the things which they do not understand- happening between them. And for the unfriendly future that awaits them.

Ten years have passed. It was the tenth anniversary of their parents' death. She laid a basket of tulips, and roasted corn at their parents' grave. Five minutes later, a car arrived. He got out of it, holding a bouquet of roses.

He was with his wife.

They exchange smiles. His wife smiled at her.

She returned the gesture.

"I wish they could see us now," Kira said.

"How we've become," Cagalli continued.

Lacus was behind them, whispering a silent prayer.

Minutes passed. She has to go.

"I'll see you guys soon," she said to them, looking at him in the eye.

"Take care…" Lacus said.

"_See you soon_," Kira finished.


	4. Sparks

_**Sparks**_

" _I want you to know, that I'll always look out for you…"_

The sky didn't look well for the past three days. It was painted with uncertainty. The same scenario was on Kira's mind. It was the day before his wedding.

He was pacing around his room. A party will be held later that day before the union.

She was not around.

Cagalli never showed up. For the past week he was with other people: strangers and friends, wishing him the best of luck. But he felt like smiling on a group of unknown faces- plastic, intangible. She called him about two weeks ago. She was out of the country.

_"So…"_

" I'm marrying Lacus."

"_Good."_

"I hope you'd come."

Silence.

"Hey…"

"_I'll try. Congratulations."_

The phone line's cut. That was the last time that he spoke to her. Short and impersonal conversation.

The door opened. It was his bride on the other side.

"Hi!" she beamed at him. She wore a beautiful smile on her lovely face. She had finely painted eyes, a perfect nose, and a gentle spirit. She was the dream of every man.

She went closer, placed her hand around his neck and gave him a kiss.

He held her waist so she could reach him. He's a lot taller than her. She lingered on the kiss as she tiptoed.

"I'm excited about the party, and the wedding," Lacus said.

Kira smiled.

"Yeah, me too."

"We haven't planned our honeymoon yet," she said while looking at him.

"We'll do that later," he answered.

"I want two kids," she said with a giggle. " How about you?"

He thought for a while. Nothing in mind.

" It's up to you."

"Okay, then we'll have two," she decided.

Time for the party.

The Clyne family was there, as well as some of his bride's close friends. His visitors were some of his close friends in college. No relatives. Not even his sister- the only family that he had known.

"I want to make a toast…" Mr. Clyne stood.

"… for the union of my one and only daughter and this wonderful man. You have my blessing." He finished his glass of brandy.

Kira did the same thing.

_Drink to oblivion_.

On the other side of the world, a woman was smoking her third stick on a forgotten bench.

She was waiting for someone. A friend.

She knows what the time is, back on her country. And what is it that's happening.

The celebration for her brother's wedding.

She was reading to preoccupy her mind- that had been restless for the past week.

A familiar voice called out.

"Honey…"

Her best friend was there.

She stood. Her eyes told him everything. She ran to his arms and cried.

"It's okay, don't cry. I understand," Dearka said.

They were having coffee. She looked like she had large doses of caffeine. Her eye bugs were large and unattractive.

"You're not coming to his wedding. Don't you think that's a little unfair on his part," Dearka said.

"I don't want to look happy when I'm not. I… couldn't lie to him."

They were silent for a while.

" Why do I have to fall in love with him. Of all people!" she cried.

"Honey, I don't see anything wrong with that," Dearka commented.

"Because you're a gay."

"What's my being a homosexual got to with that?"

"Nothing. I'm sorry. I'm saying nonsense."

Dearka's phone rang. It's his boyfriend -Yzak who's calling.

Dearka spoke to his boyfriend for a while. Cagalli sips her coffee.

The call ended.

" Do you want to see him for the last time?" Dreaka asked.

"What? I don't know…"

"No. Don't give me that confusing answer. I'm asking you. It's between yes or no."

"I…" Cagalli looked away.

"Yes."

"Then go."

"But I didn't have any reservations for tomorrow's flight!"

"Who says you're going to need those?" her friend says.

"But I-

"Go to him. Tell him how you really feel. For the first time in your life be honest with what you feel. And then make him choose."

"I… can't," she dissolved into helplessness as she cried once more.

"Yzak arranged everything. You have the ticket to go to him and tell him how you feel. Please. Even if you don't succeed. Just get this over with and move on." Tears were showing on Dearka's eyes.

Yzak entered the café holding an envelope.

He handed this over to Cagalli.

"Good luck," he said.

Cagalli's trembling hand accepted the ticket. She stood and embraced Dearka.

"Go on. Stop crying okay?" Dearka said in tears.

"I'll call you," Cagalli reassured.

"Just go. You'll be late!"

"Yeah, yeah." Cagalli wiped her eyes and ran off. She took a cab towards the airport. Never looked back.

Yzak sat beside Dearka. Held his hand.

"Thank you," Dearka told him.

"Let's just hope that we did the right thing," Yzak whispered.

(The wedding)

She was caught in a traffic jam. The cars where everywhere, squeezing their way on the busy street. The wedding will be over at eight. It was already seven forty-five.

"I've got to get there soon!"

She went outside the cab and ran. She wasn't sure how to get there in time. But she knows this was better than sitting around. She made her way past strangers and unfamiliar places. She ran towards the town's church.

She ran as fast as her feet can. Her footsteps were already faltering. She was standing on the church's doorway. The bells rang.

The wedding was over.

Her face was white. Her lips were cold. The door opened.

The members of the entourage went out. Children were running, showering the path with white rose petals. Laughter was all around. She felt numb.

The bride and groom stepped out. Cheers echoed from everywhere.

She saw him, wearing a white tuxedo. Smiling.

Her heart sank. Tears were flooding her eyes. Her mascara was already smudging her eyes. She stepped backwards. Farther. Retreated.

But he saw her as she walks away.

The people started to give their best wishes and all, but he wasn't interested in them.

Her vision was beginning to fade, but he tried not to let it go. He excused himself from his bride and ran after her.

" I think I just saw my sister. Please excuse me for a while," he said to Lacus.

Lacus agreed.

She was walking faster.

"Hey!" he called out.

"Cagalli!"

She heard him. Turned around.

They were standing right in front of each other. The clouds were beginning to shade the place. The sun's hiding. Cagalli looked at her feet. She noticed that her shoes started to wear out.

"I… thought you weren't coming," Kira said while catching his breath.

"I… wasn't supposed to. But…"

He saw the pain in her eyes. Beyond comparable.

"I… need to tell you… that…"

She was catching her breath. Holding back the tears.

"What?"

"That… I… love you." She closed her eyes as she said those words. She didn't want to hear or see his reaction. It was enough that she confessed.

His knees felt weak.

"Why?" That was the only thing he had in mind.

"I'm sorry," she said, biting her lip.

He was in tears.

He grabbed her to his arms. Embraced her like he hadn't done this before.

But he didn't say a word. The world was falling on his shoulders.

"Kira…" Lacus called out.

Kira let Cagalli loose.

His bride went nearer.

"Hi, I thought you were busy abroad," Lacus smiled at Cagalli.

"Yeah…" Cagalli answered as she wipes her eyes.

"We really should be going now. Come with us to the reception."

"No… I should be going too. Just checked on my brother that's all."

"If you changed your mind, just call and I'll have someone pick you up okay?"

He left with his bride. Walked away- looking at her.

She didn't even know how he felt about her confession.

Rain began to pour and the skies that were once blue, now turned to gray.

She was walking along the same street. Water was beginning to sip into her shoes. She felt cold. Dialed a familiar number.

A ring and then another.

" Hello?"

"Dearka…"

"What happened?"

She cried.

"My god, where are you?"

"I don't know…"

"Shit! Stay somewhere safe or…" Dearka was already panicking.

"It's okay, I'll be back there."

"Just stay on the line… I'll talk to Yzak. Maybe we could pick you up or whatever."

"Dearka, you're on the other side of the world. Thank you for everything. I just need someone right now."

She stayed there on the sidewalk talking to her friend. The rain began to cease.


	5. Orange Glow

So chapters 3 and 4 are flashbacks. This will be the last one -then we go on with the story…

**_Orange Glow_**

"_I'll burn down the house of the distant past to see the promise of the unseen future."_

Three months after his marriage.

Cagalli decided to return home after finishing her post-graduate study. She stayed overseas for about three years, separated from her brother –her only family. Those three years her life had been dedicated to her career, in pursuit of the 'truth', as science always claims. But the truth of losing a loved one was all that she experienced.

The truth of losing Kira.

Still, no one knew about her true feelings except for her two best friends, Dearka and Yzak. They were classmates in the University where she had her Master's degree in Physics.

To everyone, Cagalli appears to be a strong-willed independent person. She intimidated a lot of men, because they simply couldn't live up to her standards.

She on the other hand, wasn't interested in having men as companion, either in studies, or in bed.

Because she wanted only one man. The only one, which she couldn't have.

"Promise that you'll visit us honey. If you don't I'll fly all the way there and give you some thrashing," Dearka said in tears, as he bids goodbye to his friend.

"I promise, I'll visit you guys," Cagalli answered. She was in the airport, boarding on the 6 am flight.

"If anything happens don't hesitate to call us. Take care of yourself," Yzak said worriedly. " I don't want to hear 'that' crying voice again."

"Yes sir," Cagalli said while giving him a salute.

"Just… be happy," Yzak cried.

They hugged each other for a while, and then she went ahead, waving her goodbye to them.

After an overnight stay in the skies, the plane landed to a familiar city. She took a cab towards a subdivision near the bay.

Walked on the familiar street, and unlocked the gate of the familiar house.

The keys screeched against the lock. Three years of abandonment made the door slide with such coarseness, revealing the sullen insides of their house.

Cagalli stepped inside and breathed the dusty air.

"I'm home…" 

Most of the furniture was still in good shape. Covered with sheets of blanket that were once white, now turned brown. The wooden floor still gave the same sound as her stilettos hit them. Such grace and softness.

She went towards the kitchen. The cupboard was almost empty, but some of the china was still there. White and fragile. Holding memories of the family that once used them. The happy innocent laughs of two children as they ate the pancakes made by their mother. Their mother's eyes that was full of love, and their father's stern face, but kind nature. All frozen in a certain time.

Cagalli saw them. Tears ran down her face as she remembered the memories of this family. She couldn't recognize; the girl that was there was she.

She went to the bedrooms. There were three.

Her parent's bed was still there… as if waiting for their arrival. The lamp was on the same place where she last saw them.

The next room was Kira's. Not much was left, since he moved out since his marriage with Lacus Clyne. Cagalli stepped inside. The smell of the place reminded her of him- everything about him. She ran her hands against the mirror. When they were still children, she enjoyed watching him over that mirror. She admired him very much.

She went over the closet. Some of his clothes were still there. Hanging like lifeless bodies…

She sat on the bed and searched inside the adjacent table.

Pictures.

Their family picture was the first one that she saw. Frozen smiles on plastic paper.

Then her picture when she was still in high school. Wearing the school uniform and her awkward smile, blushing at the man behind the camera- her brother.

Then, a photo of them, side by side. His hands resting on her shoulder, and a faint smile that curved on his lips.

She lay on the bed and savored the memory. Maybe, just maybe when she wakes up, everything will return to where they used to be.

She had fallen asleep.

Her eyes snapped open. She smelled something. Cinnamon perhaps?

There were noises in the kitchen. The plates were clattering as the spoon hits them.

She got out of bed and went outside.

Anxious to see who was there, invading her property, she went towards the source of the noise. Her heart was beating out of her chest. She looked for something hard, and she saw a piece of broken wood. She held them as she walks silently towards the kitchen.

It was already 6 in the afternoon, the sun retreated early, and the stars were already feasting on the cloudless sky.

She was prepared to strike the burglar… raising her hands.

He turned around, holding a platter of food.

She dropped the piece of wood. He dropped his plate.

"Kira!?"

"Cagalli!?"

Both said in perfect unison.

"What are you doing here?" Cagalli's said with her trembling voice.

"I… I come here every month to spend the night… and check the house. You?"

"Just arrived. I finished school remember?"

Silence.

The last time they spoke to one another was the day of her confession. That night, she wasn't prepared to see him…She would have been more relieved if it's a thief, rather than her own brother.

"Uh, want some food?" Kira offered.

"It's spilled already," Cagalli replied.

"I'll make another one."

She sat on the table while he went towards the sink to prepare.

Her hands were placed on her lap, and her eyes affixed on them, afraid to even look at his back.

"You… didn't tell me you're arriving. I should have made something," he said without looking at her.

"I… don't need a welcome party," she whispered meekly.

"How is your study?"

"I've finished Physics."

"Good."

"And… how about you?" she retorted.

" I'm okay. I'm in a software company."

"Good."

Unfamiliar coldness.

He turned around holding two plates of food.

Some cold meat, cinnamon roll and a simple salad. They ate the simple meal without talking, just sharing glances. Glances that seem to hurt each one's eyes.

After the meal, he stood to make some coffee.

She waited. The smell of the beans as they brew themselves in the coffee maker, and his silent movements… and her silent breathing…all happening in some slow motion.

He went to the table holding two cups. Sat in front of her. Sipped the coffee. She searched for the cream. Placed some on her cup… avoiding his gaze.

Her eyes were glowing… an orange glow as the incandescent lamp hits those orbs. Shining. He saw them, and thus made him smile.

"Why?" she asked.

"Nothing."

"I… think we should start… disposing everything that we have in here. The furniture I mean," she said.

"I don't mind having them, but if your practical mind says so, then I guess I can't do anything about it," he said sarcastically.

"Don't get me wrong. I don't want to ruin the memories of this family. It's just that… I…"

"You what?" His eyes were blazing with fury.

She didn't continue.

"I stayed here for three years, and even if I got married, I still manage to look after this place. And **you **left… and suddenly arrived and decide to 'dispose' everything like it's your unfinished experiment?"

"No, please, that's not what I mean!"

" You went overseas, left me here all alone. You didn't even bother asking- how would I _feel_ back then!" Kira said with clenched teeth.

She blinked twice. Looked at him with earnest eyes.

"What did _you_ feel?" she whispered.

"Damn it!" Kira stood and went over the sink.

"What did you feel? I'm asking you!" Cagalli was already crying.

She followed him. He was catching his breath, trying to control himself.

"What did I feel? I thought I would die."

He turned around and met her gaze. He remembered her confession on his wedding day. She left without even saying goodbye. How he wanted to file a divorce after hearing those words from her. But she didn't fight for her feelings. Neither did he.

Her eyes were questioning him. Reasons, which he couldn't say… that he was feeling the same thing.

He grabbed her hips towards him, and seized her mouth with a kiss. Her tears were flowing and she couldn't stop them as they fall.

He lifted her and carried her towards his room.

She was on his bed… her body, almost inches away from his own.

His warm breath almost clouding her vision. She was studying his eyes, how marvelous they were. She was lost.

Her eyes snapped open once more. She was naked but she didn't feel the cold. His arms were encircling her. He was sound asleep. She looked at the adjacent table. The pictures were still there.

She woke up and everything changed. It didn't return to where it used to be… but somehow, she was happy with what everything turned about.

She was his.


	6. Green Eyes were Blue

**_Green Eyes were Blue_**

He sat up on the corner of their bed. His eyes were affixed on the floor and his breathing, silent.

"What's the matter?" His wife crawled towards his side, slid her arms around his waist and trailed kisses on his back.

"Nothing," Kira whispered his reply.

"You've been like this for a while… Don't tell me you've had enough." She sounded worried.

Kira wasn't listening to his wife's sentiments because he was busy thinking of Cagalli. She told him during their last meeting, that she couldn't stand being the 'other one'.

"I don't want to sound selfish, but I guess I really am. I want you to file a divorce with your wife…if you really love me."

Lacus had no idea what's in her husband's head. But then she was starting to feel bothered- a great deal.

"Come to bed with me…" she insisted.

She pulled him over her, and started kissing him. He on the other hand, did not resist. She was the one in control.

She took his hand and placed it on her belly. Her eyes were warm.

"I want you to fill me…"

She was giving the hint.

He knew it.

She was pregnant.

It's the second week without a word from Kira.

Cagalli wasn't able to notice how long it was since she too was preoccupied with her job. She was hired in a state University as a Physics instructor. Her classes were scheduled every one o'clock in the afternoon and eight in the evening, which makes her stay at the school grounds for almost ten hours.

Being a teacher is never easy. And teaching intelligent students was a tough challenge. She had to show them that she knew what she's doing, or else, questions would lead to humiliation.

Her last word with Kira was during the Halloween season. She told him that he must file the separation papers, if he truly wanted to be with her. She knew it'll be a difficult move on his part, but then it's inevitable.

But two weeks without a single call, not even an email, was disturbing. She called him once during her break, but this phone was turned off. She sent two emails but there was no response.

That cloudy afternoon, she decided to drop by his house.

She drove almost four miles to get there. The place was quite far.

She knocked on the wooden gate. Forgot to notice the doorbell that was hidden beside the entrance. One of the neighbors, having an afternoon walk noticed her waiting outside the house.

" Hello, miss," the lady greeted. She was about the age of sixty, with her long white hair tied neatly into a bun. She was taking her dog for a walk.

"Hello," Cagalli answered.

"If you're looking for _'them'_, I think they haven't arrived yet," said the lady.

"What do you mean?" Cagalli looked confused.

"They left for a vacation, about a week ago. A celebration perhaps."

"Celebration?"

"Yes, miss Lacus told me that she's expecting a baby…"

Those words hit Cagalli like a bucket of ice water.

"… _expecting a baby…"_

She froze. Tears were welling up inside her, but she couldn't possibly break down in front of this woman.

"I see… thanks for informing me." She headed towards her car.

"Wait," the old lady called out.

"May I know your name?"

She looked at the woman, with her sorrowful eyes already losing their color.

"Cagalli."

"I'll tell them that you drop by," the old woman said.

The car skids along the silent road, driving towards nowhere. She wasn't crying, but the streetlights were hurting her eyes. She drove faster, ignoring the traffic sign, as it turned red. She wished she wouldn't stop until she hit some post and die instantly. But no one was on the road to stop her.

She pulled to a stop on the sidewalk. There was a sign but she didn't notice it.

"NO PARKING"

Seconds later, a policeman was knocking on her window.

"Ma'am, you aren't supposed to park your car here. Please step outside while I get your identification."

She wasn't completely aware of what happened.

She paid a $50 fine and her driver's license was taken.

Lost inside her head, she began walking along the street. It was already six-thirty in the afternoon.

She felt so small and fragile, but no one was there to hold her. Surrounded by the huge skyscrapers, colorful billboards and bright lights, she wanted to curl into a tight ball to protect herself from the cruel world. People were laughing and she felt the laughter like sharp knives, piercing her soul.

She ran, faster and faster until knees faltered.

She cried hard.

The ticking of the clock brought her back to her senses. She was lying on someone's bed. Unfamiliar.

She sat up and looked at the window. The lights seemed far away. Then she looked on the clock on the table.

Eight thirty.

"Oh my god!" She got out of the bed after remembering that she's already late for her class.

She paced around the room, searching for her shoes, her slacks and her coat, but she couldn't find them. She didn't even know where she was.

The door screeched while she was busy looking under the table for some trace of her garments.

A man with green eyes entered the room, holding a tray of food.

"Oh you're awake," he spoke.

She almost jumped at the sound the unfamiliar voice.

She looked liked she'd seen a ghost.

"I'm sorry. Didn't mean to scare you."

"Where am I?" Cagalli asked.

"In my apartment. I saw you lying on the street, unconscious that's why I brought you here."

"Thank you, but I really must be going. I have work to do." She walked past him and reached out for the doorknob.

"You don't look good so I suggest you stay here miss," the man once spoke.

She almost forgot that she had no shoes, not even a decent coat on.

"Where are my clothes?" She asked.

"I took them and had them washed. They're completely soiled."

Her state of panic faded, and once it was gone, the truth had itself spread in front of her.

She was only wearing a blouse, and her lingerie in front of this man. Her face turned brilliantly red.

The man noticed it and chuckled.

"Don't worry, it's not the first time that I saw someone as naked as that."

She stayed on the doorway, unable to move.

"I brought you some food. You look very pale. I think it'd be better to take you to the hospital after you've eaten."

"No, I'm perfectly fine," Cagalli assured him. She was avoiding his eyes.

They're green, and perceptive.

"I wouldn't mind if you sit on the couch, rather than stand there all night," he said with a smile.

Cagalli went towards the couch adjacent to the small table where the man had placed the tray of food.

"It's just a soup and some bread, I hope you don't mind," he said while searching for some clothes in his closet.

"I'm a bad cook, so I asked the landlady to make that."

He walked towards her holding a piece of shirt.

"I won't be able to lend you some pants but I think this one will do."

He handed the shirt to her.

She excused herself and went to the bathroom. Took off her blouse and slipped the oversized shirt onto her body. It was indeed too large for her that it almost covered her knees. And it felt warm. His bathroom was small, and a mess. The shaving cream was spilled on the sink and the scent of his perfume was everywhere. She smelled it. Very masculine.

She stepped outside, feeling a little awkward as his eyes gazed on her own.

He smiled.

"You can continue your dinner," he said.

"I… I don't even know your name," she blurted out.

"Athrun," he said without looking.

"I'm Cagalli."

"I saw your school ID. I'm sorry I didn't mean to pry… You're a teacher."

"Yes."

"I go to the same school."

"You're…"

" A fine arts student."

"I see."

"The science building is far from the Arts and Letters," he said.

"I haven't gone there," Cagalli replied.

"I see." He went to his laptop and started typing.

" A Physics instructor was found unconscious by an art student," he said while typing the same words on his journal.

Cagalli looked at him.

"Thank you," she said quietly.

"No problem… I don't get to have pretty girls around, but now heaven has sent me one," he replied.

Cagalli glared at him.

"I'm not planning to do anything nasty so don't be afraid," Athrun said.

There was silence after that.

"Your eyes were swollen. You must have cried a great deal."

She answered his query with a sigh.

"Some guy?"

She didn't answer.

"I guess scientists were also foolish lovers," he said once more. His eyes were on the laptop screen but he was watching her.

Her eyes were watery once more. She remembered Kira.

How could he be so cruel? All her life, she had wanted him and no one else. How she tried to be the woman that he wanted, and how she believed when he told her about his feelings. That he loved her. And now, she couldn't win against Lacus. She will never be able to replace Lacus, now that Lacus is expecting a baby.

She couldn't possibly take Kira away from them. She had two rivals now. She will never win.

She dissolved into tears once more.

Athrun watched her as she cried on the couch.

"I… I'm sorry…"she said, trying to control herself.

"Go ahead. Scream if you want to," he replied.

_The moon was silently watching the silhouette of a dying heart as it faded. But the green eyes were shining…_


	7. Temporary Stitches

**_Temporary Stitches_**

" I've been thinking…" she spoke as the smoke leaves her mouth. The afternoon sun was pale, and the street was filled with people, busy for the holiday season.

"You could move in with me to cut off your expenses."

He was staring at the same view. Children were scrambling around, giggling at the sight of the man with a white beard and a red costume, with his stomach bulging like a giant ball as he laughed.

"You should consult your brother," Athrun said as he sipped his coffee.

Cagalli glared at him. In a span on seconds, her piercing eyes told him she wouldn't do what he wanted.

"I also own the house. I don't need to ask his permission."

"You're still mad at him."

She didn't reply.

"Did you break up with him?"

No answer.

"Please don't pretend to be deaf. Answer me." He clutched his cup and looked at her, carefully studying her blank face. Devoid of expression.

The sound of the children's laughter was everywhere. It reminded Cagalli of that day when Lacus gave birth to Kira's first child.

She remembered the pain in her heart, as she held the baby in her arms.

Lacus smiled at her, as if she was unknowingly rejoicing at her misfortune. She allowed Cagalli hold the baby before it was taken o the nursery.

"Isn't she beautiful?" Lacus whimpered while giving the baby to Cagalli.

The baby is indeed beautiful. She has purple eyes, which she got from Kira. And she inherited her mother's hair. Pink.

"Y…Yes," Cagalli blurted, just as tears began to escape from her golden brown eyes.

"She is beautiful…"

Kira was there, watching the two women. He had been with Lacus ever since the first contraction began. But he wasn't able to speak to Cagalli. She had been avoiding him and he couldn't blame her for that. They never had a proper closure. It's as if the surprise of his child's arrival had sealed everything that happened between them. She was on the other side of the world, and he couldn't take a grasp of the reality that he must go on without her.

"Hey." Athrun snapped his fingers in front of Cagalli's eyes.

"I… I'm sorry. What did you say?"

"Nothing."

They were having an afternoon coffee, something that was routinely done for the past ten months, since they've met.

Athrun is an eccentric person. An artist- as everyone around his circle claims. She had been longing for some company, with everything that had been going on in her life and he was there. Her best friend, Dearka couldn't cross the seas because of some company agreement that prevents him from traveling abroad for two years. They only communicated through the Internet.

There were times when she thought of Athrun as a spare tire, a replacement for Kira. But Athrun was different. He wasn't there to offer himself. He wasn't there to ask for her affection. He's… just… there for some unknown reason.

They were like two lonely threads, bound by the world's injustice.

"I'll talk to Kira about it," Cagalli concluded.

"What if he disagrees?"

"You can still move in."

"I thought you were to ask his permission."

" I don't want to repeat myself Athrun. You're moving in and that's final," she said sternly.

It was seven in the evening. He was still in front of his computer, finishing some work. His wife left with their three-month old daughter towards her parent's house. She would be staying there for the weekend.

Then his cell phone rang. He read the screen.

"Cagalli calling"

It took a while for hi to press the receiver. His voice was weak.

"Yes?"

"You have a free time?"

"Why?"

"I, need to talk to you. House matters."

"Okay, I'll be there."

End of conversation. She sounded cold and impersonal.

An hour later, he was in front of their house. The gates were open. He parked the car in the garage, beside her car. He got out of it, feeling a little uneasy.

He went to the door. Knocked.

Seconds later, the door opened. He saw her standing before him, looking straight ahead.

Pallor was all over him. His features were softer, and his hair was longer. His purple eyes were still there. Marvelous as they used to be. She avoided them as they met her own eyes.

"May I come in?" he said.

"Sure." She stepped backwards and allowed him to come inside.

The door closed.

She was wearing a pale blue skirt and a white top. He hair spilled across her shoulders, as she silently walked across the living room. The house wasn't different as it was back then. But she managed to buy new furniture and put up a new set of wallpaper. Before, they had a peach colored wall. But she changed the plain color into something more interesting. The walls were already painted with small birds and mountain landscapes, which made the house look oriental. There were pieces of tribal gods on the center table, and a painting of a beautiful maiden carrying a pile of wood, hanging on the side of the window. New things, which Kira wasn't aware of.

He sat on the couch. Surprised how soft it felt against his skin. He used to complain about their couch back in high school. That it was too hard to be called a 'couch'.

She sat in front of him, with her expression, still unchanging.

"I called you because I wanted you to know that I'm having someone here… to live with me."

He was dumbfounded with her complete absence of warmth, which is much worse than the meaning of those words that came out of her mouth.

"Someone's moving in here."

"A friend?" He heard himself say with a trembling voice.

"Yes. You could put it that way."

"Who is she?"

"It's not a _she_."

"It's a guy then."

"Yes."

"A boyfriend?"

"Probably."

He took a deep breath. Felt his pulse rise, as well as his anger.

"A boyfriend then."

She raised her eyebrows and gave him a sarcastic look.

"YES."

Kira couldn't stand her indifference. How could she tell him about this? He stood and went by the window to get some air. He never spoke.

"I told you this because this is also your house. I don't want you to get an impression that I'm taking away your right as…"

"Just shut up!" he said under his breath.

"Fine." She stood and left him. She went inside her room and locked the door.

Minutes passed, and she heard him knocking violently against her door.

She opened it and about to give him some thrashing. But as soon as she opened the door, he stormed inside, grabbed her by the waist and sealed her mouth with a violent kiss. She felt like screaming but she couldn't. She bit his lip for him to stop, but as soon as she tasted his blood, she immediately relaxed against his persuasive mouth, begging her to kiss him back. She was lost, as he carried her to her bed and placed himself above her.

"Now tell me Cagalli…" his voice was raw.

"Tell me that you want me…" He kissed her once more, now with his tongue exploring the curves of her ears, then lower, towards her neck. She closed her eyes and felt his warmth as it engulfs her being. He raised her skirt and felt her fragileness beneath it.

"No!" she pushed him away. He was catching his breath, with all the unbridled passion in his eyes hanging...

"I don't want you anymore understand?"

"Lair," he answered.

"I don't want to ruin your child's life. Can't you see? I'm trying so hard… to forget you. But you're so selfish! You want to be with me but you couldn't leave your wife!"

Her words shattered him into pieces.

"I… don't want this anymore. Please move on," she cried.

"I can't."

"Damn it – then try!"

He retreated. Farther from her. She was covering herself, crying non-stop.

"If that's what you want… I'm sorry," he said meekly.

He stood and left the room.

She heard the sound of his car's engine as it leaves the house. She continued to cry until sleep has engulfed her whole being.

The smell of brewed coffee woke her up. It's already eight am. She stood and went to the kitchen. Athrun was there, preparing their breakfast.

"I didn't wake you up, and the door's open," he said while pouring the coffee to the individual cups.

She sat on the chair, looking at the coffee as it fills the container.

"Athrun…"

"Uhuh…"

" I feel cold."

"He went here last night," he concluded.

"It's over."

"Then I'll move in?"

"Yeah."

"Which room?"

"My room."

He paused for a while.

"Your room?"

"Yes."

He stirred the cup with a teaspoon and sipped on it. His green eyes were boring through hers.

Then he smiled.

"You shouldn't feel cold."

There was something on her sullen face, which he couldn't understand. She was with him, but her heart was far away.

"You shouldn't say things when you're not in a state of sanity." He chuckled.

"Maybe I am insane. Insane for loving my own brother… and a fool."

"I guess all of us are," he noted.

"A painful ordeal that we blindly follow… for the sake of being happy."


	8. The Fatal Wound

**It's a cold weather, and I feel like writing. Nah, why am I explaining myself? Enjoy reading if you can…**

**The Fatal Wound**

_ I saw the amber flame_

_As it flickers slowly, _

_Dances like the waves_

_And flickers between my palms_

_Singe my wounded skin_

_I saw it as it faded_

_With my skin still burning_

_The scars have lost their pain_

_But the stitches still remain_

She was running and he was chasing her along the golden fields of the forgotten summer. Her golden eyes sparkled like the sun above and his fingers stretched out to reach her skin. Her laughter echoed with the passing wind and her vision faded. He tried to hold on to the vision but like spilling water in between his hands, she went away… slowly, until she was gone.

He woke up. His eyes were sore from the tears, and he was seated in his car. Dawn starts to break from the purple sky but he didn't feel the promise of the forthcoming day.

His cell phone rang. His wife's number was on the screen.

"Lacus…"

"Where are you?" She sounded worried, and suspicious.

"I don't know," he answered.

"What happened? Are you okay?"

Silence.

"Kira, what's the matter?"

He took a deep breath. But his chest couldn't take in the air. It felt like sharp knives, stabbing his insides. He felt like bursting.

"I'll be home." He pressed the receiver and ended the call.

" I think you look better in green," Athrun said while scanning her figure on the mirror. She was standing behind him, wearing a blue empire cut dress.

"I like blue," Cagalli insisted.

"But you look better in green."

She bit her lower lip and paused for a while, imagining herself wearing the two dresses. She smiled, feeling a little satisfied with her decision.

"I'll wear green."

_Don't be there_,

_Don't stand on my shadow_

_Stay far away_

_Where I couldn't see_

_Don't be here_

_When I long for the morning sun_

_I'll see beyond the gray sky_

_With my own eyes, _

_The dawning day will be mine_

" I'm perfectly fine Dearka," Cagalli said. She was talking to her best friend on a long distance call.

" I heard about this guy named Athrun. Yzak told me he saw him when he dropped by your house."

" And, what did he say about him," she asked.

" He said… well he's hot. And sexy, and…"

"Stop it Dearka. Don't tell me Yzak has something for him."

"No honey! That fool is mine. He wouldn't dare look at other men," Dearka replied.

She laughed.

"Seriously, you're done with your brother?"

It took a while for her to answer. Her tone suddenly changed.

" I think so."

"You think?"

"Yeah, I think so… yeah."

"I don't know about that answer Cagalli. But then I just want you to be happy, whether it's because of the Athrun guy or with Kira."

"I am happy."

"Good."

_When I fly and when I fall_

_Don't be there_

_Don't wait for me_

_At the end of the line_

_Don't reach out_

_I know I will be fine._

It's their daughter's first birthday. They named her Katherine. She was beautiful like her mom, and somehow got her dad's aura.

"I have invited Cagalli. It's been a long time since she visited us," Lacus said while preparing the cake for their daughter.

Kira pretended not to hear her. He was searching for the household bills on the table. That month, he was promoted as the company branch manager, and along with the promotion were the increase of his salary, and expenses. He had applied for an educational plan for their daughter, and insurance for himself in case anything happened. Life and accident insurance to be exact. He was planning his family's life, looking forward to the future, which he didn't expect to turn out as it did.

"Would you pick her up," his wife asked.

"Why would I do that?" He sounded irritated.

"Well because she's your sister," the former replied.

"She has a car."

"Fine. I just thought you'd be glad to see her."

He found the bills hidden under the tablemat. Got them and headed for his keys on the nearby drawer.

"I'll go." He pressed a light kiss on her lips.

She caught his hand as he began to move away.

" Be careful."

"Yeah."

He shut the door.

Cagalli was busy scanning the test papers of her students for the final exam.

"Are you coming to the party?" Athrun was with her on their usual afternoon coffee.

"Yes."

" Did he invited you?" he asked further.

"His wife invited me."

"I see."

" Want to go with me?" she offered.

"I don't think so," he replied.

"Why not?"

"I don't want you to show me around like I'm some kind of a trophy. I don't," he continued with a serious tone " want you to use me to make him jealous."

"Who gave you that absurd idea?" She was practically outraged with his blunt words.

"Don't fool yourself Cagalli," Athrun said.

"I am not…"

He shook his head.

She sighed and said, "I am done with him. How many times do I have to tell you this?"

His eyes weren't leaving hers.

"If so, then prove it."

The soft hum of the wind was heard between them. Silence.

_Nobody ever stays on the same place _

_They leave as the song fades_

_But I won't i__f you won't tell me to_

_I'll stay when the sky falls_

_I'll stay when the sky falls._

The night is approaching. She was looking at her watch while inside her car.

She was having second thoughts about the party.

"I know I could find a thousand excuses," she told herself.

She stepped on the accelerator. Decided to go home instead. But as soon as she reached the highway, she found herself driving towards the opposite direction- away from home.

It took her about 20 minutes to reach the place. Wasn't that far.

A few minutes passed and she was still there inside her car, waiting.

She got outside and slowly approached the gate. Pressed the doorbell.

Few guests were invited to their daughter's party. Shinn, Luna, and Lacus' parents were the only ones who came.

They were having dinner when the sound of the doorbell was heard.

"I'll get it," Kira said as he stood.

She was waiting outside the gate, with her eyes on her feet, and her hands on her side.

He stepped outside and approached the gate.

Opened it.

Her eyes met his… no words.

She looked away. So did he.

"May I come in," she said softly.

He nodded and stepped back. Closed the gate behind her.

She continued to walk towards the door. He spoke just as she turned the knob.

"Thank you."

She paused.

"Why?"

"For coming here."

"It's my niece's birthday," she said flatly.

"That's why I'm thanking you." His voice was cold and distant… the same as hers.

He guided her to the dining room. Lacus stood as she saw her.

"I thought you weren't coming," she beamed at Cagalli.

"Sorry I'm late, and I didn't have anything with me, not even a gift for my niece."

Lacus introduced her to the other guests.

"So you're Kira's sister. You look exactly like each other," Luna said.

"We're twins," Kira answered.

"I see you must be very close."

Cagalli reached for the wine. Sipped some from the transparent glass. On the other side of the table, in front of her was Shinn.

"I think they're close," Shinn said. He smiled, acknowledging Cagalli's glance.

"What do you do miss Cagalli?" Luna asked.

"I'm a teacher. A Physics professor."

"I see you two are such intelligent people. You're good in Physics, and Kira on computers," Mr. Clyne noted.

Cagalli felt awkward about Mr. Clyne's complement. She looked at Kira. He was looking at her too.

Dinner was over and everyone went to the living room for some refreshments. Kira was with Lacus in the kitchen.

"Cagalli's changed. She's thinner and looked more mature than before. It must be her work that's causing it," Lacus said while preparing the coffee.

"She perfectly fine," Kira said dully.

"Did you have a fight?"

"No, we didn't."

"Well I hope she has someone to take care of her. I mean, she's old enough to have a family."

Her words floated on his head. They almost burned his ear. He was staring at the cups as they fill themselves on the tray.

Cagalli was playing with Katherine. The little girl was seated on her lap.

"You're fond children don't you?" Shinn said as he approached her.

"Kind of…" she answered without looking.

"Kira is a nice guy. He was lucky though, to have Lacus." Shinn said those words as if he was swallowing a bucket of ice.

Cagalli looked at him.

"Your brother is very lucky," he continued. He sat beside her and there was silence between them. Luna got the camera and asked everyone to gather around.

"Smile!" Luna cheered behind the camera.

A family picture was taken of Kira, Lacus and Katherine.

Then, it was a picture of Kira and Lacus.

A group picture followed. When all seem to be satisfied, Luna suddenly requested.

" Could you two stand here for a sec?" Luna asked Kira.

"Me," Kira pointed to himself.

"Yes, and your sister."

Cagalli turned upon hearing this. They stared at each other for a while.

"Okay," Cagalli said. Kira didn't speak.

He went near her, standing close at her side. She pretended that everything was normal. That it was just like a simple picture taking back in when they were young.

"It looks like you hate each other," Luna commented. " A little close please. Then say cheese!"

The flash was almost blinding. It was as if time stopped and the two of them were left frozen on a forgotten moment. He placed his hand on her shoulder. His fingers were cold. She caught her breath. Everything happened in a single second that had disappeared soon after.

He moved away. She did the same.

"So, when will number two arrive?" Mr. Clyne asked.

"Number two?" Lacus looked confused.

"He's referring to Katherine's future sister or brother," Luna said.

"I want to have two grandchildren. Or you can have more!"

Lacus glimpsed at Kira. She wrapped her arms around his waist and whispered the same question. Kira grunted.

"It's already on the list… for next year I guess," Lacus said meaningfully.

Cagalli was standing farthest from the crowd. She was looking at Lacus and Katherine. Tears start to well up inside her. For a moment her eyes rested on Kira.

He is happy now. And this is the right thing to do… 

The tears showed up and she wiped them off.

Kira saw it. His peripheral vision unfolded the truth.

Conversations continued and Cagalli found it hard to stay, with everything that she's feeling. She was being torn to pieces.

"Um, I have to go now," she said to Lacus. "Thanks for inviting me…"

She bid farewell to the other guests and to her niece. Then she bowed slowly in front of Kira.

"I'll go ahead," she said but her eyes were avoiding his.

Kira walked her outside, towards her car. They didn't speak to each other.

The night air was damp and salty. Much like the tears in her eyes.

She held the car keys and opened the car's door.

Kira was still there, watching her. She didn't go inside yet. She stood there, right in front of him.

"So… congratulations," she said. She tried to hide every bit of pain with a smile. His purple eyes were misty. He returned the gesture. Smiled too.

She reached out her hand to his. He did the same.

His long fingers touched hers. And that was all that's left. She pulled her hands back and went to the car. Drove as fast as she could.

"You're early. It's just eleven," Athrun said as he opened the door for her.

Cagalli glared at his green eyes, and suddenly, she broke down.

She cried on his arms without even saying the reason. He held her and remained quiet as she poured her sorrow on him.

"Make… me … forget," she sobbed.

He did just as she said. He lifted her and carried her to the couch.

His palm and fingers were warm as they rested on her bare skin. She held them like a painful memory with her eyes closed.

She laid there in the dark, covered with his naked self.

"You still feel cold?" he whispered to her ear.

She sighed.

**_"I don't feel the difference anymore."_**


	9. Unexpected meetings

**Unexpected Meetings**

It was the twenty-fourth of December, Christmas Eve. While preparing their simple dinner with her husband, Lacus suddenly thought of inviting Kira's sister over to spend the night with them.

"Kira, I think of calling Cagalli. Maybe she could spend Christmas with us."

Kira was on the sink, slicing some olives for the pasta. Hearing his wife's suggestion made him feel the pain of those poor olives, being sliced into two.

"She has a boyfriend remember? Maybe they have other plans for the night," he said coldly.

"I didn't know she has a boyfriend," Lacus stated.

"Well she does."

"Then we could invite _him _also."

When Kira didn't reply, Lacus went over the phone and dialed Cagalli's number.

Cagalli was on her study table, checking the papers of her students for the third exam. Athrun on the other hand was on the other table, finishing his portfolio. Both were too busy to care if it's the night before Christmas.

She was checking the third pile of test papers when her stomach suddenly gave out an odd sound.

"Hungry?" Athrun asked as he heard it.

"Quite."

She stood from her seat and headed for the kitchen. But then the pantry was empty. Both of them forgot to buy something for dinner, and as soon as Cagalli realized it, she went back to the room and told Athrun about her grave discovery.

"So we'll starve on Christmas night," Athrun joked.

"I'll just order some fast food," Cagalli decided.

She searched for the wireless phone and began pressing the dial when the phone rang.

"Hello?"

"It's Lacus."

"Oh. Hi Lacus… Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas too. Well we'd like you to come over for dinner. You could spend the night with us."

"I…" Cagalli hesitated. She looked at Athrun.

"What?" Athrun couldn't figure out what's on Cagalli's mind. But somehow, he understood what the unexpected caller said. He went to Cagalli and got the phone from her hand.

"Hello?"

"Oh… is this Cagalli's boyfriend?" Lacus asked.

"Umm… yes"

"Okay, umm we would like you to come over and spend Christmas with us, if that's alright," Lacus once again said.

Athrun paused for a second then answered, "Thank you. We'll be there."

"That's great! We'll wait for you."

Then she hung up.

"You said _we_ are coming?" Cagalli glared at Athrun.

"Yes, we are," Athrun, replied.

Cagalli thought she'd scream at him for this decision, but she knew he wouldn't change his mind. Sometimes, she thinks that he enjoys the thought of seeing her and Kira trapped in an awkward situation as this one, but she also knew that Athrun never held a grudge against her brother. He never confessed his true feelings for her, though they shared a bed quite a few times on a short intimate sexual relationship, which of course is a natural thing to happen between two people sharing the same house and the same room. And she never considered the possibility that Athrun might be falling for her. It was indeed a stupid thing to assume.

Whatever is his reason, she would never know. They went to her brother's residence about an hour after the call. She was standing behind Athrun as the latter hits the doorbell.

Not long after, the gate opened. It was Lacus that came to welcome them.

"Oh hi! Merry Christmas!" she sincerely greeted the guests.

Athrun wore a faint smile, while Cagalli tried to plaster one on her strained face.

"You must be Cagalli's boyfriend…"

"Yes, I'm Athrun."

"Well nice to meet you. Kira is inside. C'mon!"

Lacus guided them towards the house. Inside, Kira was with his daughter Katherine. She was seated on his lap, cuddling her dad while Kira tells a fairy tale about a beautiful maiden who fell in love with a beast.

"Kira, your sister's here," Lacus announced upon entering the living room with the guests Behind her were Cagalli and Athrun.

He pretended not to hear his wife and continued the tale. As the visitors entered the room, he looked at them with a straight face. Devoid of expression.

"Oh, is she asleep?" Lacus said as she approached her husband. She took Katherine from Kira's arms so that her husband could welcome the guests properly.

"Cagalli's with her boyfriend…" Lacus started. Kira stood and went to them. He smiled faintly at Cagalli and then shifted his eyes on her companion.

"Um, he's Athrun. He's staying with me," Cagalli said softly.

The two men were quiet for a while. Athrun's expression was also unreadable as Kira's. Then Kira reached out to him.

"Nice to meet you," he said shortly.

"Same here," Athrun replied.

Then there was dinner.

"So, how long have you two been living together?"

Lacus was obviously unaware of the tension among the three. Kira never spoke and just finished his meal. Athrun told a few stories, while Cagalli kept her responses short.

"About a year. No, more than a year,' Athrun replied.

"You said you were an art student. Major in?"

"Well industrial design. It's a second degree. I've finished math before."

"That's great. And you're working?"

"Temporary jobs yeah. I'm preparing for my graduation this summer."

"Cagalli," Lacus shifted the topic.

"You're teaching on the same university where he's been studying right?"

"Yeah," Cagalli replied.

"So that's how you two met I suppose. You bumped into each other one fateful day," Lacus joked.

"No. It was more of a tragic encounter than a romantic one," Athrun countered, recalling the day when he had found Cagalli lying unconscious on the street.

"I found her half dead on the street," he continued while eyeing Cagalli's reaction.

Cagalli on the other hand recalled that day, when she found out about the news on the unexpected arrival of her niece.

"Half dead?" Lacus was quite interested with Athrun's tale.

"She happened to receive a set down from a past lover, I don't know. But she was a mess back then," Athrun stated.

Cagalli felt like being torn into pieces. Kira was on the other side of the table, seemingly uninterested, with his eyes affixed on the platter.

"Oh, is that true Cagalli?"

"He's exaggerating," Cagalli said.

"Perhaps I am," Athrun spoke with a laugh.

"But it's good that you've found her. So he's your angel I see," Lacus said. She smiled at the two of them.

"Perhaps he is," Cagalli replied. She looked at Kira's direction. He was glaring at her. She avoided his eyes. They were questioning.

It was almost twelve and the four of them were in the living room, having some talk while drinking.

"So, any wedding plans?" Lacus said. She was obviously intoxicated, as she started babbling about everything that she can think of. Kira was on the exact opposite of his wife's mood. He never bothered to engage with their conversations. Just sat there and listened.

"We aren't planning that yet," Cagalli answered.

"I still need to finish my studies," Athrun added.

"Well Kira and I are planning to have a second baby. Right hun?" Lacus held Kira's waist.

Kira just smiled. "Probably next year."

"So I think you should get married next year too. Double celebration would be fun!"

Athrun laughed and held Cagalli's arms, seemingly aware of her feelings about the plan for 'number two'.

"Yeah, I'll convince her," he said briefly, while tapping Cagalli on her chin.

"Well I think this calls for a toast." Lacus grabbed the Champaign and poured some on each of the four glasses.

"Best wishes to the both of you, and to us," she announced.

The glasses bumped at each other. A unified sound as they collide filled the room with false hopes for the unseen future. It was all that they can share. And at that instant, her eyes met his as their reflections appear on the surface of the glass.

He gave a faint smile on her reflection, as she smiled on him. Perhaps, it was the honest gesture of letting go…

"You can spend the night at the guest room," Lacus suggested.

"No, we'll go home. Athrun needs to finish his portfolio, as I with my work."

"On Christmas eve? No way," Lacus complained.

"Spend the night here please," she insisted.

Cagalli thought Athrun would decline the offer, but it seemed like he was okay with the idea.

"Work can wait though," he said. "Thank you , we'll spend the night here."

They were sitting on the unfamiliar bed. Athrun stood and removed his shoes and socks. Went towards the bathroom. Turned the shower on.

Cagalli lay on the bed, and stared at the ceiling.

"Tonight, I will sleep with _him_ but not on the same bed."

Athrun came out with just the towel on.

"You're thinking of him right?" he asked as he sat beside her.

She turned her back away to hide her expression.

"No."

"I wouldn't ask you to sleep with me here. We're on his house," he joked.

"Not funny Athrun."

" Sorry."

He went to the bed, turned off the lamp, kissed her shoulder and whispered goodnight.

She on the other hand couldn't sleep. It was already an hour after, and she's still awake.

She decided to go outside.

She went to the living room, towards the couch. Her consciousness was still intact, and slowly it faded until she finally managed to drift off.

She was running with Kira. They were chasing each other under the golden sky… a distant memory of he childhood. They were laughing, as the wind whispered their name on the skies. Then the dark clouds gathered together. It was raining hard but they were still running.

Her eyes snapped open. He head was slightly strained and it was painful. She winced around, trying to remember where she was until her eyes drifted on the seat in front of her own. Someone was there, watching her.

It's Kira.

She immediately got up, unable to do or say anything. He was still there watching her like he was invisible.

"I'm sorry… I …" she tried to think of some explanation as to why she chose to sleep on the couch, rather than the guest room.

"You were sound asleep. Snoring," Kira said with a grin.

" I am not snoring," she retorted.

"I heard it. You were the same as before."

She laughed. " I guess some things can never be changed."

He looked away.

"I'm sorry," he suddenly said.

"Why?"

"For not being able to… become what you expect me to be."

It was a short confession of regret that made her tears fall. She wiped them off and tried to regain her composure.

"We never thought this would happen. Just like what happened between us,' she whispered.

"I am afraid to go on Cagalli," Kira confessed.

She studied his expression. His stern features were lost and she came to notice the same Kira that she had loved before. His purple eyes were stained with tears. The boy that she once adored when she was young was still there, and she saw him.

"I am afraid to lose you," he continued.

Her hands were trembling, longing to feel his skin. She reached out and cupped his face, even for the last time.

The world, time and everything around them decided that they should never be together, but that moment, she thought she'd forget everything. Her virtue, her sanity, just like before when she decided to give herself to him.

But then she knew she couldn't do it anymore. She continued to caress his face as he held her hand, longing to feel her warmth, even for the slightest manner that they could share this moment of connection. His tears continued to flow, and she cried along with him.

There was silence all around, but the painful truth was echoing against the walls of that room.

Lacus heard it. And as soon as she realized what everything had meant, she dissolved into tears.

**Well, thanks for reading this and Merry Christmas to all…**


	10. Untitled

**Like a writer lost with words, never knowing how to start the first sentence of a long elegy, that is how I feel right now. Sorry for being such a melancholic person. Enjoy reading if you can…**

"_Someday, I will see the sun through your eyes, so I have to stay blind for now."_

It was the thick clouds that covered the sky that painted a sullen mood on the supposedly sunny afternoon. They were walking towards a grocery store when Cagalli suddenly recalled an important item on her shopping list.

"I have to go to the pharmacy when we're done with the grocery."

"Why, are you sick?" Athrun asked.

"No. I… just have to buy something."

"Sleeping pill," Athrun mumbled.

"I have no problems with sleeping, whatsoever," Cagalli objected.

They headed towards the grocery store. Athrun pushed the shopping cart as Cagalli searched the items on her list.

"Bath soap, Shampoo, toothpaste…."

"Breakfast stuff. Oat meal, butter, milk…laundry stuff…"

"I'll go over the frozen meat okay?" Athrun said then he left her and headed towards the meat section. Cagalli went to the counter and got a small shopping basket.

She must have forgotten to look ahead that's why she accidentally bumped on someone standing near the counter.

"Oh, I'm sorry," she immediately apologized.

"It's okay…. Ma'am," the man replied.

"I think I saw you before." Cagalli felt surprised after seeing the man's face. He looked familiar.

"Yes, I'm Shinn remember?" the man answered.

"Oh…"

"Shopping?" Shinn asked.

"I'm with someone… yeah."

"Okay, it's nice to see you," Shinn finished. Both went opposite directions. Shinn was with Lacus, Cagalli realized as soon as she gazed the path were Shinn's heading. Lacus was on the toiletry section with her daughter Katherine. Shinn approached them and pushed the cart as the two went on to the next section.

It is surprising indeed that they were out shopping, with Kira being substituted by someone. Is he even aware that Shinn was with his family?

"Kira's sister is here, I saw her at the counter," Shinn noted.

Lacus didn't say a word. Pretended not to hear him.

"I thought you might be interested," Shinn added.

"Why should I be?"

There was pain and anger in her voice. Shinn immediately dropped the topic.

"I'll be paying for this," Athrun decided as he pulled his credit card from his wallet.

"Are you sure? You haven't received your pay from your last job," Cagalli said worriedly.

"I'm fine. I'm not yet broke."

"Okay."

They were outside, carrying the five shopping bags loaded with groceries when Cagalli remembered the next thing that she has to purchase.

"I'll go to the drug store. It won't be long"

"I'll wait here." Athrun went to the nearby cafeteria stationed himself to the seat near the glass door so he will be able to see her. Cagalli followed him, carrying two of the five shopping bags.

" I think coffee's great. Order a cappuccino for me. I'll be there before it's done." Cagalli said smiling.

"Sure princess."

"Thanks."

She went to her destination, and nervously went to the sales clerk.

"Where could I find this…" she described the product that she's looking for.

" A first timer ma'am?" the clerk asked.

Cagalli blushed. "Yes."

"There are a lot of _them_. This way ma'am."

"What did you buy?" Athrun asked as he sipped his espresso.

"Nothing."

"A secret, that's very sexy."

"Hey, it's not like that."

"Then what is it?"

"I'll tell you later. Not now."

"Fine."

Cagalli diverted the topic.

"I should get the car, the mechanic said it's already fixed."

"I'll just take the groceries home and you get the car," Athrun suggested.

"No. I can't drive yet… I mean I feel sick."

" I thought you have to get it now. Would there be extra charges when it stays there longer?"

"Yeah, there's a parking fee."

"What kind of automobile shop is that?" Athrun scorned.

" I never really thought of choosing one when that thing busted in the middle of northern highway."

Athrun suddenly felt her pulse.

"You look pale. What's going on with you?"

"Nothing."

"You said you felt sick."

"Stress that's all."

He paused for a while. He thought of an idea but he wasn't sure if Cagalli would take it.

"I'll go and get the car. You go home with this stuff, but I'll have to call your brother so he'll accompany you. Perhaps he could look after you while I'm still away."

"No. I'll be fine."

"I don't think so," he countered.

He got Cagalli's cell phone from her purse and searched Kira's number.

Cagalli on the other hand was started rubbing her forehead. Her stomach was churning and she felt like throwing up.

"I have to go to the restroom." She immediately left her seat.

Inside the cubicle, she began to expel everything on the toilet bowl.

Meanwhile Kira was driving home when his cell phone displayed the familiar number.

Cagalli calling 

He stared at the screen for a while, deciding if he would take the call or not. He answered.

"Hello."

"Hey it's Athrun."

"Why?" Kira's brows twitched.

"Cagalli isn't feeling well and I have to get her car from the shop. If you're not busy, could you pick her up and take her home?"

It was as if Athrun's testing him, and he wasn't up to the challenge. But soon, he realized that it wasn't Athrun's intention. He'd been observing Athrun during their first meeting, and he could tell that this person has a lot of traits that he lacked. Maybe that's the reason why Cagalli fell in love with him.

"Where are you?" Kira asked.

Athrun gave their location to Kira and the latter assured him that he'd be there.

She sat in front of him, covering her mouth. She felt like throwing up again, but she tried to suppress the urge.

"You aren't telling me something," Athrun suspected.

"I …I've been having doubts Athrun."

"What?"

Cagalli blushed and continued her revelation.

"I was _delayed_ for about two months. I'm suspecting that I'm pregnant."

Athrun's spoon hit the white porcelain. It's like everything has gone silent, or they were taken into a vacuum.

"I bought a pregnancy testing device earlier."

She recalled what she had done in the restroom. After throwing up, she immediately pulled the device from her jeans' pocket. Her heart was beating so fast because she knew her intuition was true. She immediately got a sample of her urine and dropped it on the device.

Blue color shows the test is negative 

_The red color indicates pregnancy is positive_

"What color?" Athrun asked. His fingers were trembling, but he couldn't understand why.

"**Red**," she confided.

He blinked twice, looked outside the glass window and remained silent for a while.

Then he laughed.

"What's so damn funny?" She was flushing with embarrassment.

"I'm going to be a father soon!"

"Yeah I suppose you are."

His eyes were shining. "I have never thought of becoming one."

"Are you happy," he suddenly asked.

"Yeah, I am."

"But… this doesn't mean we have to… get married right?"

"No," she answered.

She laughed after that. He laughed too. All the other people in that place was staring at the two of them, laughing like crazy people.

"I thought you're sick or something," Athrun said in between his laughs.

"I thought so too."

She shook her head and suddenly thought of Kira. What could be his reaction to this?

It wasn't long until Kira entered the scene.

He saw the two of them as he was trying to find a parking space for his car.

Athrun saw him first as he entered the cafeteria.

"I called your brother so he could take you home while I get your car."

"You what?"

"He's here."

Kira was standing behind Cagalli's seat.

"Hi," Kira greeted.

Athrun smiled briefly while Cagalli refused to turn back and meet his eyes.

"Take a seat Kira," Athrun offered.

"Thanks."

He seated beside Cagalli, and the latter spoke.

"Athrun has to pick up my car, so…"

"Yes, and he told me that you were sick."

Cagalli looked at Athrun's eyes. His expression was unreadable, but she knew he wouldn't want Kira to know about their secret yet.

"I think I am," she said softly.

"Would you like some coffee Kira?" Athrun asked.

"No, thanks."

"Then I'll go. Thanks man," Athrun said as he stood. He left his seat, kissed Cagalli on her forehead and tapped Kira's shoulder.

"Your car busted." Kira wasn't able to think of anything to say so he made that comment.

"Yeah, three days ago. Old age I guess."

"Insured?"

"Yes, but they only paid half."

"I see."

"I…saw Lacus earlier."

"She said she's be out to buy things with Katherine," Kira noted.

"Yeah, but we didn't talk. I talked with Shinn. He's with them."

"Really?"

She nodded.

"Lacus didn't tell me about that."

He looked at his watch and it was already five-thirty.

"I think we should go."

She agreed and they both left the place.

They weren't speaking to each other. He held the clutch and maneuvered silently. She was looking at the gray sky, turning into black. The stars were beginning to show up. She removed her shoes and gathered her knees up. She used to do this when she was young. She remembered Kira's first driving experience. She was with him, on the passenger seat.

"_Someday I'll get my license too and I'll dry wherever I want."_

"_Driving isn't as easy as you think Cagalli," _Kira said.

"_I won't be sitting here forever. I'll be on my own one day."_

She recalled her last words. They came true, and she was on her own. Two years later and she learned how to do it, but she always allowed Kira to do the driving. She enjoyed taking the passenger seat, and being with him as he takes on the road.

The road was long and lonely, just like the lives that they're living.

" I remembered that day when I first saw a shooting star. We went to mom and dad's grave, and it was your first time to drive," she said softly.

Kira recalled the same moment. "I told you back then to close the window, but you always roll it down," he said without looking.

And she did it once more. She rolled the window down breathed the damp air rushing in.

"I thought I saw a satellite falling, but you said it's just a meteorite."

"You romanticize everything," he commented.

"And you were always cynical," she replied.

"How can a satellite fall?" he asked.

"If it loses its orbit, it will fall."

He chuckled.

She hugged her knees, as if she was feeling cold.

The streetlights were quite dim. Sodium lamps were becoming extinct.

" I… missed being your sister."

He smiled.

"Yeah, and I missed being your brother too."

There was a long silence after that.

" I'm having a child, with Athrun."

Kira remained silent, while the car started to decelerate. It stopped.

He laid back and closed his eyes. Cagalli watched him and stretched out her hand delicately touching his shoulder. They remained that way for almost an infinite span of seconds, and then she decided to peer at the night sky.

And she saw a shooting star once more.

"I saw a satellite falling."

He smiled and said, " Make a wish."

"I did back then, but it didn't come true," she confessed.

He ached to touch her, and tell her that it's okay, that he will be happy if she decided to move on, but then he was to honest to show what he really felt.

He stepped at the accelerator. Took her home and left as soon as the shopping bags were dropped on her doorstep.

She didn't ask him to stay for a while. Just watched him as he left.

Alone in his car, driving to he so-called home, we wondered what it was like to be young again. The reality was too hard for him to bear but somehow, he must pull through.

Once again, he was on his own doorstep. He reached for the keys, and as he inserted it on the keyhole, the door slid open.

Lacus was there, sitting at the couch.

"I'm home," he said.

"Where should you be instead?" she answered bluntly.

He didn't reply.

"I thought you were to come home early?" she asked once more.

"Athrun called me to pick up Cagalli."

"And you obeyed without hesitation," she said sarcastically.

He stared at her, as she was with him. Her gaze was accusing.

He didn't bother to dwell on her comment, and started to walk upstairs.

"You immoral bastard!" she cursed.

"How long have you been lying to me? You and your sister!"

Kira was pinned on the ground. He refused to look back at his outraged wife.

She walked briskly towards him and as soon as she reached him she pulled his arms so he could face her.

Tears were burning her eyes, as she cried helplessly and fell on her knees.

He didn't want to witness her in this condition. He knew he betrayed her, and it was her right to hurt him, or kill him if she wanted to. Somehow, he wished that she would. He wished he could die.

**That's it for now. More to come but it may take long. Thanks for reading**….


	11. Clouds of Dust

**Clouds of Dust**

Summer's heat wilts the greenery and melts the snow-capped mountains. Clouds of dust and the heat wave scorches ones eyes and leaves a dry mouth. Such is the difficult time of the year.

It was Cagalli's sixth month of pregnancy. She had a maternal leave that was effective a few weeks after the submission of the final grades for the graduates of that school year. Athrun had graduated a little earlier, and got a job as a graphic artist in a certain animation company. It was an eight-hour daily work, but he manages to go home early and spend the day with her.

Every morning they go out for early walks, just before Athrun leaves for work. He learned to cook simple meals for her, and though he's such a bad cook, the meals didn't turn out to be disasters. But the half- burnt rice or the salty soup occasions were inevitable. Cagalli learned to entertain herself while being left alone in the house for the whole day. Usually, she watches movies, and then she tried to bake simple cookies or some ready-to-make desserts. Then she bought a chessboard. She played chess against herself.

"Aren't you suppose to sleep all day," Athrun asked her during dinner.

"I can't. I'll burst if I don't do anything," she complained.

"But chess is good. Our son could be inheriting your intellectual side," he said with a smile.

"I'd rather make him more like you," she countered.

The days were usual, and Cagalli learned to deal with it. One day at a time. She hasn't received any news about Kira, but she refused to find out for herself. She also didn't want to ask Athrun about her brother. Athrun never bothered to bring up anything about Kira. When idle, she couldn't help but think of him.

She tried to call him, but as soon as the dial tone echoed on her ears, she begins to hold back and cancel the call.

One day she stood in front of the mirror and examined herself. Her belly's already large, but not very much. Her hair, longer and her lips were fuller. She gazed at her eyes and she wondered how would the baby look like.

He may have green eyes or golden brown. She smiled at the thought. She seemed to grow a little heavy due to pregnancy. But her skin remained pale and her cheeks, a little pinkish. Then she went to the bed. Gathered her knees up and contemplated her life over and over until the feeling of lethargy struck her.

Kira was still living a normal life with his family. But Lacus was the one who's not acting normally. Everyday, she calls Kira about five times and she goes to his office during afternoons. She insisted that he'd take her out for dinner on weekends and left the responsibility of watching over her daughter to their old neighbor, who later became the nanny for the nearly two-year old Katherine.

When she's not with Kira, she's out shopping alone, or with Luna and Shinn.

Kira already knew that she's been seeing Shinn quite regularly, but he didn't care, as long as Shinn was unconsciously helping him of looking after, or more so, getting rid his wife. He was secretly filing the divorce papers, and he doesn't want Lacus to learn about it until the process is complete.

He wouldn't leave her just to be with his only true love. He will do it to make the situation easier for the two of them. Lacus could live the life that she wants, while he would _look_ for his own life, wherever that may be.

The decision of divorce wasn't easy for him, now that Katherine is beginning to understand things around her. Losing parents is one of the major causes of depression for children. Kira knew the feeling of loneliness, the loss of their mom and dad. He tried to weigh things over and over again, but the same decision comes up.

They have to separate ways.

Ever since that time when Lacus confronted him about Cagalli, there wasn't a day when they didn't quarrel about the issue. Lacus became more and more suspicious and agitated until one day; she decided not to talk about the matter anymore. Instead, she became a more demanding wife, and a less responsible mother.

It was Thursday night when she called him after and told him to meet her at a certain restaurant after office. It was also the time when the divorce papers were made. He planned to discuss it with her, cordially.

They were having dessert when he decided to confront her. Blueberry cheesecake.

" Lacus… I have something to tell you. I think this is the best for us." He took a deep breath. " I need a divorce."

She didn't look at him, just stared at the wineglass on her hand. Her expression was unreadable.

It was silence that was burning his ears, and her passive expression soon turned in rage.

"You have the nerve to offer me what I didn't need," she said with clenched teeth. "Your sister…"

"She's nothing to do with it," Kira interrupted, with his eyes, blazing with fury.

"Should I believe you? You wouldn't dare to give me those papers because I'll burn them!"

"I have them now." He drew the papers from the envelope and handed it over to her.

She was clutching her nails until her fingers flushed from pain. But she didn't cry. She looked at the papers.

" I will not sign those papers, even if you kill me."

"I'm giving you time to think about it."

"I won't sign it, because I want you to suffer. I will be your wife until you wished to God you hadn't married me… Until you die."

She wiped her mouth with the table napkin and left.

"I'm home," Athrun declared as he entered the living room. The lights were off and the room was dead silent.

"Cagalli?" He started to feel worried. He slowly walked towards the kitchen. The aroma of oregano and basil welcomed him.

She was holding a kitchen knife, chopping the leaves on the chopping board. He immediately grabbed the knife from her hands.

"Hey!" She gave him a sour look.

"No sharp objects I told you that!"

"I'll be fine." She got the kitchen knife from his left hand.

"I'm doing some pasta," she continued.

"We could order one if you want."

"No I want to cook."

"Pregnant women sure are stubborn. Is it part of the hormonal surge?" he joked.

"Probably," she smiled back at him. "I need a hand with the mushrooms."

" How am I supposed to slice them?"

" They're button mushrooms, so just remove the stalk. I only want the head."

The next day, Athrun decided to leave early. He left while Cagalli was still asleep. He was thinking of contacting Cagalli's friends, Dearka and Yzak. They might have some time to visit their friend so Cagalli won't feel bored.

She woke up and realized it was already ten in the morning. Athrun was gone. She took a quick shower and went to the kitchen for some breakfast. She couldn't take a walk today. The sun's high up and the streets are already busy.

She went to the small garden to take a look at the basil that she purchased three days before. The sun wasn't merciful at all. Half of the leaves turned brown and the others were yellowish. She got the flowerpot and searched for a shady place where she could place the poor plant.

_Basil is a symbol of love. When someone gives you basil, it means you are important to that person._ - The sales clerk told her.

She bought the plant, not really thinking about what the clerk said. When she recalled about what the man said, she began to wonder, to whom would she give the basil.

A car suddenly stopped in front of her house. Someone got out of it, wearing a poker face. It was Lacus Clyne.

She used the doorbell. Pressed it three times. Cagalli slowly walked towards the gate to meet the visitor. As she unlocked it, she was surprised to see who came that day to visit her.

"May I come in?" Lacus said. Not smiling.

"Oh." Cagalli stepped backwards and guided her towards the house.

She entered the living room, and then looked around. Cagalli told her to stake a seat and she did. She wasn't speaking friendly to her, just waited until Cagalli could sit down properly.

"I came here to tell you that Kira filed a divorce."

Cagalli was baffled.

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Don't use that tone to me bitch!" she fired back. "I know everything about the two of you. You even had the guts to go to my house and pretend nothing's going on. I'm sure you've planned this all along. But I will never ever let you take him from me understand?"

Lacus continued her verbal assault. "Oh so you're pregnant. Whose child I wonder? Was my husband good in bed huh? Does he even do to you what he's doing to me?"

Cagalli was speechless. First she was surprised and quite guilty. But the feeling turned to anger.

"You have no right to insult me in my house," Cagalli replied. Her anger started to show. She paused for a while when lacus winced. Then she continued.

"You know what, I feel sorry for you. As far as I know, I never took him from you. He loved me, even before he knew you."

" But he didn't marry you," Lacus replied.

"Simply because, he is my brother."

"And that's the reason why you can never be together. You're doomed from the beginning."

"You have anything else to say? The door's open. You can help yourself outside." With that comment, Cagalli stood and began to leave.

Lacus grabbed her arm and twisted it and Cagalli shrieked with pain. Then Lacus hauled her towards the chair and pushed her down. Cagalli landed hard on the chair and began to lose balance. She fell on the floor. Pain suddenly jolted from her insides.

She held her belly and began to feel contractions from her uterus.

Lacus stepped backwards. She was shocked at what she had done. Blood suddenly streamed from Cagalli's skirt.

It was just the perfect time for Athrun to enter the scene. He forgot to bring his palm top so he went back home to get it. He was surprised to see an unfamiliar car parked in front of their house. He went inside and saw Cagalli on the floor. Bleeding.

He rushed forwards and shoved Lacus aside.

"Damn it!" he cursed as the blood continued to flow from Cagalli.

"I…"

"Just don't speak," Athrun whispered to her. He held her and carried her towards the couch. Then dialed the emergency hotline.

"This is Athrun Zala. My wife's pregnant and she's bleeding."

The line answered.

"Give us you address and we'll be there with the ambulance sir."

"How long?"

"Two minutes sir."

"Hurry up!" he gave their address and ended the call. Then he went to Cagalli.

"How are you feeling?"

"Contraction… painful."

"The medical team will be here. Just hold on."

And then his attention diverted to Lacus. He walked towards her with his dark eyes pinned on hers.

Lacus was in the state of shock. Unable to move, not even breathe.

Athrun grabbed her shoulder and hauled her outside. Lacus screamed in pain but he didn't loosen up his grip. She scrambled to break free and when she did she shouted at him.

"You are a fool. That woman is having an affair with my husband. Her brother! Doesn't that disgust you? Yet you're helping her like she's some kind of an innocent bitch!"

"Yes I know! I knew everything right from the beginning," Athrun yelled at her.

"But that isn't an excuse for me to do something like you've done. I don't give a damn if she loves anyone other than me, because she's carrying _my_ child!"

Guilt had struck Lacus. "Your… child?"

Athrun was catching his breath, trying to control himself.

"If you ever, get near us again, and if anything happens to her, or to my baby… I swear I will kill you," he warned.

He pointed towards the gate, signaling Lacus to leave before she might even get more physical assault from him. Lacus ran outside in fear, and drove off.

Cagalli was confined in the hospital for three days. The doctor told Athrun that he almost lost his son in the incident. Cagalli needs to take in some medicines to avoid miscarriage and she must not be angered, nor forced into doing things that require great effort.

It was her third day in the hospital. Athrun didn't go to work, and stayed with her all the time.

"I'm sorry for what happened," she told Athrun. It was three in the afternoon, and she was having some apples and milk while he was reading a book.

"Don't talk anything about it," he replied without looking.

"Are you mad at me?"

"No, of course not."

She felt her tummy contract.

"The baby's moving," she said softly.

"He might have wanted to protect you back then,' Athrun speculated.

'Why?"

"He was trying to kick that bitch when she pushed you, but he couldn't because he's still in your belly. That's why you had contractions."

Cagalli laughed.

"You make a bad medical conclusion."

"That's why I hate science," he said.

"Listen, I need a favor from you."

"What?"

"From now on, please let me handle things for you. Let me take care of everything," he pleaded.

She closed her eyes.

"Yes."

That afternoon, Kira learned about the news. Athrun called him but he didn't reveal the reason for Cagalli's hospitalization.

Kira went to the hospital to visit his sister.

**that's it for now, thanks for reading.**


	12. Weathered Glass

**Gravity pulls everyone's strings down and the sight of colliding bodies on midair is anything but natural.**

**The sound that sting one's ears, the smell of damp paper left outside to humidify and dehydrate, the unconscious minds and treacherous hearts were all but a part of the melodrama.**

Athrun made Kira aware about Cagalli's situation. It was a phone call.

" She's in the hospital,' Athrun welcomed him as he answered the phone.

"What happened?" Kira almost spilled his coffee on the stack of documents, which he had been working on, relentlessly for the past three weeks.

Athrun didn't reply and gave the hospital address instead.

"How long will she stay thee?" Kira asked once more.

"She's about to go home but I told her to stay at least for tonight. We'll be discharged tomorrow morning."

"I…"

Athrun must have read what's on his mind. He continued.

"You may visit her… if you want."

"Thank you," Kira replied.

Not long after, he found himself on the car, driving towards the hospital, about 3 kilometers southwest of his office building. Thoughts keep on playing inside his head- reasons and hopeless fantasies. She may have lost the baby, and he may get the divorce that he wanted. Selfish daydreams. Anyone is capable of thinking the worst things to serve their own desires. But that's all there is. For thoughts vanish like the thin air, and reality is the solid ground which everyone has to fall on.

Holding nothing but his car keys, he stood outside the room where she's supposedly confined. Knocked on the door twice.

It was Athrun that welcomed him.

"Come in," the former said.

He stepped inside and found Cagalli sitting on the bed, reading a book. She was not aware of his presence, because she was busy on digesting the contents of the book. It was a novel entitled, the Blind Assassin.

"Cagalli…" Athrun called out. She didn't respond, continued to read.

"Kira's here," he continued.

Her eyes drifted on the doorway, and found the two men. She saw Kira.

Kira returned her gaze with a solemn look. The last time he'd seen her, she was about three months pregnant. Her features have changed a bit. So are her eyes. The way they look at him. It was a bit strange.

"I'll go get some coffee," Athrun said with hesitation.

"No, I need you here," Cagalli retorted.

Her coldness struck Kira. She wasn't looking straight at him. Athrun gestured Kira towards the chair near the bed. Kira obeyed and placed himself on it. Cagalli continued to read. There was silence among the three of them.

"I'm worried…" Kira spoke.

"I'm fine," Cagalli immediately replied. She didn't even bother lifting her nose from the book.

"I do **need** some coffee," Athrun interrupted. He left off just before Cagalli could stop him. The door was shut, leaving the two of them left inside.

He looked at the window. The rainy season is far ahead but the brief showers came earlier than expected. The smell of the atmosphere reminded him of the season when she had left and studied overseas...

He had skipped work that day and took her to the airport. She was obviously excited about her departure. It had been her dream since childhood- to go abroad and study. He on the other hand, felt the opposite. The rain was pouring heavily on the streets, and they were caught in a terrible traffic. A car bumped into a delivery truck, and the street was all jammed with vehicles and the police.

"A bad sign for a traveler," he blurted out a bitter joke.

"Don't talk that way," she spurned at him. He was always saying those things to offend her, or to make her change her mind, but she never gave in to his silent plea. She had to go.

Looking back, Kira wondered if Cagalli wanted the same thing this time.

She wanted to let go.

"You have filed a divorce," she said to him.

"Yes."

He was surprised that she has learned about his plan, and quite alarmed by the fact that she had spoken about too casually, as though she was talking about the weather, or the latest news on space exploration.

"That's a bit interesting Kira. I've always thought you as the smarter one," she continued. Sarcasm was all over her.

He didn't reply to this comment. Just listened.

"I almost had a miscarriage because of your wife. But I don't want revenge on it. The fact that we cheated on her is enough to stop me." Tears fell from her eyes, and her cheeks were flushing. "I was the one who did this whole thing. If I hadn't told you about my feelings back then… if only I was able to think!"

Kira clutched his fists, and tried not to console her. He wanted to blame himself too. It was his actions that made her suffer, from his point of view.

"Now, how are we going to fix this mess that we've made? Tell me Kira?"

She was looking at him, with her eyes filled with sorrow.

"I don't know," he replied.

She closed her eyes and relaxed on the pillow.

"Better think of your daughter Kira. How could she forgive you for this?"

"I'm preparing myself for that day."

She touched her belly, and gave out a brief laugh.

"The baby's moving."

His gaze diverted on her abdomen. How he wanted to claim the child as his son. He smiled at the thought.

"Athrun is a good man. I was never worthy of him," she confessed.

"You deserve someone like him," he whispered.

"Yeah…I'm beginning to feel that way now."

He suddenly understood what she had meant all along.

It was a cordial ending, and he found himself walking along the small park near the hospital grounds, just as the clouds started to gather.

Someone called out his name. It was Athrun.

The man was sitting under a shaded area, holding a disposable cup, filled with espresso. Kira walked towards the place and sat beside him.

"You left so soon," Athrun stated.

"She needs to rest… I don't want to cause anymore worries on her."

They were looking at the same view. A man riding a wheelchair and his private nurse, strolling a few paces from them.

"Shouldn't they take him inside?" Kira commented

"The brief rain wouldn't kill him, neither the damp air," Athrun said flatly.

"She told you about the incident three days ago?"

"Not in detail. But I knew it."

"What do you plan to do now?"

Kira didn't reply.

"Your wife is a big headache isn't she?" Athun chuckled after saying that.

"It's my fault, I made her that way."

"You and Cagalli are so much alike."

Kira looked at him.

"You always take the blame. You always feel sorry for other's misfortune."

Athrun held the cup tightly. The cup was deformed on the side. Then he spoke.

"She was always sad, I don't want her to be that way forever. I don't want her life to be miserable, that's why I'm doing the best that I could. But I think it's not enough"

Drops of rain splattered across the tin roof. It was an afternoon shower to soothe the desiccated ground.

"I was never enough," Athun finished.

The dampness began to creep on their sleeves, but Kira's throat felt dry. He wasn't able to respond to his rival's confession. Should he tell him that Cagalli is beginning to consider her affection for him- that he might as well have won?

"I was not as good as you. I always make her cry," Kira said. "She is sad because of me."

It's funny how people seem to like the feeling of sadness when they love someone.

Athrun stood and threw the empty cup on the garbage can.

"I never considered a competition against you," he told Kira.

"If she truly wishes to be with you, I am willing to let her go."

"Why are you telling me this?"

Athrun looked at the gray sky and took a deep breath.

"Because I love her."

It was seven in the evening. He was in front of his house, waiting for the gates to open. Katherine saw him from the window and told her nanny that her dad has arrived.

The old lady opened the gate for him. She looked disturbed.

Kira got out of the car, and the lady spoke to him.

"You're wife… she locked herself inside your room. I told her to have dinner with us but she's not answering."

Kira rushed towards their bedroom. The door was tightly shut.

"Lacus," he called as he knocked.

No one answered. He knocked about twelve times, and then began banging the door with his fists. The keys were inside so he wasn't able to open it.

He hit the door with his own body, and it crashed open. He went inside and saw his wife on the bed. She was holding a piece of broken glass, with her hair in complete disarray.

"I called you in the office, you weren't there. Then I rang your cell phone, you weren't answering," she said with a trembling voice.

"Drop that thing Lacus," Kira warned as he approached her.

"You must have gone to your sister you bastard!" From the way she looks, she wasn't up for a conversation.

"Did she lose the child? Have I killed her? What? Are you planning to kill me now?" she shouted at him.

Katherine saw her mother in such state of insanity.

"Please take my child outside," Kira ordered the old lady.

Left with his wife, Kira concentrated on stopping Lacus from inflicting that debris on herself or towards him.

"I should have killed her there… so I could take revenge on what you've done to me!"

Her eyes were sore and her color, as pale as flour.

"I only paid a visit. Please, drop the glass and talk to me…" Kira pleaded.

"You liar! I loved you- you know that? But you betrayed me!"

He couldn't possibly reason with her on that condition. Outside, the maid started dialing a family friend's number.

Lunamaria answered the call.

Back inside their room, Kira was now inches away from his wife, reaching out to grab the weapon on her hand.

"Just give me that and we'll talk."

"No!" she screamed just as she strikes herself with the piece of glass. Kira managed to intercept it, and the thing landed on his flesh instead. It sliced through his arm as he tried to get it off her hands.

"You… you…"Lacus couldn't continue, and cried helplessly on his arms.

Lunamaria appeared on the doorway and saw the two of them. Kira with a bleeding hand, holding his wretched wife.

"My god…" she muttered.

**AN:I had to go to the restroom three times while doing this. I'm having diarrhea. Maybe salmon isn't good for me after all. This is just a short follow up, and a little similar with a chapter of one of my other fics. Be nice on your reviews. Just keep the bad ones to yourselves okay :)**


	13. Scar

**A layer of thin clouds covers the skies like a piece of veil, hiding the face of a bride, marching down the altar. The faint darkness brought by the shade; the cool air brought by the monsoon rains, the ripening of fruits from the withered flowers: time is moving on.**

**It was the unconscious life that everyone has been living; minds obscured by circumstances that sprung out of decisions, with their outcome, soon filled with remorse.**

"I wouldn't ask for what happened, but as soon as _this_ gets treated, you owe me a big explanation, understood?" Luna said while wrapping Kira's arm with elastic bandage. The wound was deep; she had to pull the piece of debris trapped on Kira's flesh. It incised a major vein, and there was no clotting. Blood continued t stream. Lunamaria called Shinn to take care of Lacus while she tends on Kira's wound; gave him the first aid treatment.

He was brought to the hospital, with his bleeding arm and his mind all numbed. Lunamaria also called Cagalli. It was Athrun who received the call. The nurse and the resident-in charge of the emergency room were attending Kira by then.

Luna learned that Cagalli was still on the hospital, and that she couldn't come to see her brother, but Athrun told her that as soon as Cagalli sleeps, he'd drop by and check on Kira.

"I still have to watch over Lacus. Shinn says that she's been panicking over the blood on the sheets and that she wanted to be with Kira," Luna replied worriedly.

"I'll be there as soon as I can," Athrun finished.

"Thank you, sir" Luna sighed.

"Now, what am I suppose to do with _her_," she whispered to herself.

The doctors performed a minor surgery, securing that no bone was damaged, and the tissues heal quickly. He got 22 stitches, and when everything was over, it looked like he had someone else's arm, crudely attached to his body.

Luna checked on him and told him that she had to go and see Lacus.

"She almost killed herself, I don't think she wouldn't do that again," she told him. "And besides, I don't want Shinn to be involved. There's too much complication among you, your wife and your sister. He'd kill you once he finds out the truth."

Kira wasn't able to respond anymore. Partly shocked that Lunamaria knew what's happening. He remained quiet.

"I knew it, Lacus told me," she confided.

"Then, I won't explain," Kira whispered.

"No." Luna took a deep breath, and she spoke once more. Her voice was trembling from anger, and spite. She painstakingly looked at Kira's stitches.

"Serves you right. Though I have to thank you for somehow saving my friend from committing suicide." She left her seat and prepared to leave, but before she does, she told him " You will get you divorce. She shouldn't have married you in the first place."

The door was shut and she's gone. Kira reached for hi cell phone as it rang. It was Athrun on the other line.

"I told Cagalli about this, she was worried."

"Don't make her come, and tell her I'll be fine," Kira replied.

"She said we'll visit you as soon as we leave the hospital tomorrow," Athrun said.

"No," Kira insisted.

"Look, I do not want to take her away from you Kira. She's still your sister."

Athrun's last words echoed on his mind.

_She is still your sister…_

_I missed being your sister…_

He wasn't able to say anything as tears fell from his purple eyes.

Alone in his private room, with the world turned its back on him, he thought of blaming the sky for his life, filled with regrets. But the sky was the same as before. It wasn't listening to all the cries being thrown upon it. It stays still, viciously watching over the world, unattached. Indeed, no one is responsible for a person's actions other than himself.

But he wasn't feeling guilty over loving Cagalli. It was the only sound decision that he made on his entire life. He loved her since they were young. With his heart on his hands, he gladly surrendered himself to her. On the day he decided he'd reveal his feelings, nothing mattered. Just her.

And she was feeling the same, all the while.

Defeated by the circumstances that transpired, he sulked inside this room, retreated on the bed.

He was very tired.

The next morning, he had Athrun and Cagalli as first visitors.

He was having breakfast. Eggs and half-cooked sausage, all cooked without salt. Hospital food has been popular for its blandness.

The nurse went inside his room and informed him about their presence, and he acknowledged. It was Athrun who stepped inside his room first, while Cagalli was trailing behind.

"Good morning," Athrun greeted him

Cagalli wasn't looking and remained at Athrun's side.

He glanced at them, and then continued eating.

Athrun led Cagalli to the nearest chair beside the bed. He on the other hand, settled on the couch, near the window.

"What happened?" Those were the first words that she spoke.

Kira remained silent.

She reached out and touched his bandaged arm. Blood still continue to flow out of the wound. The color of fresh blood, mixed with the dried.

"Did it hit a bone?" She asked worriedly.

"No, just a vein."

It was a four-word answer.

"Umm…" She was running out of words to say. Her glance was painful, worse than that of his incision.

Athrun told him that it was Lunamaria that informed them about what happened. But she didn't tell the whole story.

"Lacus tried to kill herself, and I stopped her," Kira replied to his query.

"I'd appreciate if you just leave, if you don't have anything else to say," he added.

Athrun sighed. He knew Cagalli was hurt by Kira's dismissive words.

"Okay." Cagalli muttered. Tears were starting to escape from her eyes, and she desperately tried to hold them back She immediately left her seat and walked outside the room. Athrun followed her.

Outside, he found her crying on the hallway. He wrapped his arms around her as she sobbed.

" This isn't your fault Cagalli," he whispered.

"No, it's mine," Cagalli said as she clutched the fabric of his shirt for support.

"Just stop it. This isn't doing you any good..."

" I just wanted…" she paused.

"You wanted what?" he asked.

She wasn't able to finish her sentence, for she knew what could come after those words.

"You just wanted to be with him," Athrun said.

Kira stayed in the hospital for one day, then he went home. He rode a taxi cause he couldn't drive yet, and no one picked him up. The nanny received him as he knocked at the gates, and Katherine came running towards him.

"Daddy!" she clung to his neck after kissing him on the cheek.

"How's my baby?" he mumbled, while embracing her. His child was the only one that understood him. The only person that wouldn't judge him for what he has done… at least for the time being.

The nanny spoke. " Miss Lacus left, with her two friends Kira."

He wasn't surprised at the news. " They say she would stay with them for a while, and I believe she'll be having psychotherapy."

"Mommy left," Katherine said. The poor child wasn't capable of understanding the circumstances that befallen her family.

"Mommy will be back, don't worry," Kira assured her.

But Lacus didn't come back for a week. Then two.

One day, a parcel was delivered to Kira's office. It contained the divorce papers, already signed. Holding the papers on his hand, he wasn't sure on how to react. Would he be happy for getting what he wanted? How could he possibly make his child understand about this? The paper wilted on his palm as he contemplated these things.

Lacus on the other hand, was able to recover from her apparent state of insanity. She visited Katherine everyday, as Kira leaves for work. At dinner, the poor child would tell her father that her mother dropped by and ask him why hasn't her mother come home. He wasn't able to reply.

The court sessions for the separation began.

One of the questions tackled was the reason for separation. Kira said it was because of their unsettled differences. Lacus said because of fidelity issues. She particularly stressed the word "fidelity".

Shinn and Luna accompanied Lacus during the trial, while Kira was alone on his side of the bench.

Their lawyers have compromised about the custody for Katherine, as well as the properties that were considered conjugal.

It was a two-month trial. And the day has arrived when the decision would be announced.

It was also the due date for Cagalli's pregnancy.

She was confined at the same hospital, and on the same room where she had stayed before. The doctor's suggested she'd undergo cesarean but she preferred normal delivery. He blood pressure is a bit high, and the threat of eclampsia was being considered. Athrun told her that if everything wasn't going as she'd expected, or if pain was unbearable, she should choose to undergo cesareanShe wasn't however, wavered by the threat.

At the courtroom, the judge was about to say his decision. Kira and Lacus were made to sit beside each other, for the sake of that moment.

" This court decided that this separation made legal on this day, with these people as witnesses…"

"The custody for the child, Katherine Hibiki, will apparently be in favor of the father, for he was proven to provide the child better. The reason for this are the father's evident financial stability, and lack of emotional and psychological shortcomings. The mother will have visiting rights, of three times a week. This matter will be reviewed once the mother finishes her therapy, which will be decided by her psychotherapist, in accordance with the social service. This decision is made legal, and will be official, right after this session has been put to close."

Kira closed his eyes. He had won Katherine.

Lacus was expressionless. Before the decision was made, each party was given a chance to have a final saying.

Lacus said that she was the victim of this case. But she admitted that she was also at fault. "What I have learned is that no matter how we tried, we cannot change a person's feelings, nor can we mold them onto someone we hope to become."

Kira refused to make his last statement.

The session was adjourned and they were walking on the parking lot. His car was beside his wife's.

They weren't speaking to each other, but when he was about to get inside his car, Lacus called out to him.

They were standing right in front of each other. For the first time since the incident of her supposed suicide, she saw his arm. Scar was beginning to form on it.

"I want to ask for forgiveness," she began.

"No, everything had gone wrong between us. Don't look back anymore Lacus," he countered. "Just take care of yourself. Don't worry about Katherine. Once your therapy is over, you could spend more time with her, even without the court's approval."

"I'd like to ask you one question," she said. Her eyes were already misty with tears.

"Did you ever love me? I just want to know."

Tears started to fall on her cheeks. Kira refused to look at her. His words were like a huge lump stuck on his throat.

"Yes, I did."

"Thank you," she humbly replied.

Alone in his car, he started driving towards a new chapter of his life. But he wasn't sure of what direction he should take. The wounds that he got from past experiences left evident scars. Carrying these marks, he knew he would be able to start again.

His mobile phone rang, and it was Athrun's number on displayed on the screen.

He answered the call.

"Cagalli is in the labor room," Athrun said.

He didn't know how to respond.

"She would be happy to see you there," Athrun continued.

The red light turned to green, and the cars began to move along the other side of the street.

But Kira's care made a U-turn. He was heading for the hospital.

**AN: Thanks for those people who read this fic, it isn't over yet. But the end is approaching. I will be happy to receive reviews, no matter how good or bad they can be, I realized that I wanted to see your reaction towards this,plus the fact that my birthday is approaching. Consider it as a gift for me okay:)**


	14. Dawn

**Dawn**

The steering wheels found their way on the foot of a white-colored building, and they stopped abruptly. He hurriedly stepped outside and sprinted towards the admitting section to ask the whereabouts of his sister. He called the number who earlier contacted him. It was Athrun who answered.

"She's currently on the labor room. Meet me on the second floor. We'll go there together."

An hour ago, his life as a husband and as a father took a change of course. And that moment, another life that would seal the fate of him and Cagalli would spring. But he wasn't feeling any remorse. He felt joy.

Cagalli will be having her first child. He walked upstairs instead of using the elevator. There were quite a few patients on that day. The hospital hall was almost empty.

Slowly, he traced the long path of the stairs, and at the end of it was Athrun.

Kira went speechless.

"C'mon, they said she'd be having the baby anytime," Athrun said. He walked faster than usual, and Kira was trailing from behind. A few alleys, and doors passed without him knowing or even feeling their presence. Then the last door opened. It was the delivery section.

The nurse intercepted them as they entered.

"Sir, the doctors said only the father can enter the room," she told Athrun.

"The two of us are gong inside," Athrun answered.

"Please sir…"

"It's okay I'll stay outside. You go inside Athrun," Kira decided.

But Athrun was persistent. He reached for the two surgical gowns and handed one of them to Kira.

One of the doctors saw what's happening and approached them.

"Is there a problem sir?"

The nurse explained the situation to the doctor.

"Who is the father then?" the doctor asked.

"I am," Athrun replied.

"And this man is…" the doctor continued while looking at Kira.

"He is the husband," Athrun said abruptly. "I want to see my child, he wants to see his wife."

The doctor paused for a while. Gave meaningful glances to the nurse.

"Proceed inside please," the nurse announced.

Athrun smiled.

Inside the room, there was a bed and a couple of nurses, and the obstetrician.

"The blood pressure is a bit high, but the patient insists a normal delivery," the physician-in-charge said.

Both of them stood on the side while the procedure is being done. Cagalli saw Athrun in one of the gowns, and surprisingly, Kira on the other.

She closed her eyes and prayed. Kira's eyes went misty. The two men were instructed to go near her when the procedure was almost finished.

A cry was heard as the new seed of life went out of her. She collapsed upon the last effort to expel it. He pulse went abnormally low, causing a little bit of commotion inside the room. Athrun held her hand while Kira was caressing her temple. She was given medications to avoid fluctuations in her blood pressure.

A few moments after, she spoke.

"Can I see my child, doctor?"

The baby was taken for immediate cleansing, and was brought back inside for them to see.

It was a baby boy, taking Athrun's hair color...

With all her strength left, she reached out to receive her child. She kissed the infant and smiled at Athrun. Gave out a meek laugh.

"I told you, he would have your hair," she whispered.

"I hope he gets the rest from you," Athrun replied.

Kira was watching them. He couldn't avoid the tears as they fell. He wiped his eyes with his hands. Athrun stepped back from Cagalli and signaled Kira to move nearer.

This gesture was more than he can bear. Athrun was giving him this moment.

He stepped awkwardly towards her, and she was looking at him with glistening eyes.

He looked at the baby on her arms, the child that came out of her womb.

"He's… beautiful," he said softly.

She smiled at him. It must have been the warmest smile that he had received. It melted the coldness in him, the walls of pretension. He wasn't able to hold back what he did next.

He kissed her forehead.

Athrun looked away.

Outside, two unexpected friends came to see Cagalli. They were Yzak and Dearka. They received the message from Athrun the day before, when Cagalli was confined.

"Oh my I think we're lost!" Dearka said as they rushed through the unfamiliar halls of the hospital building.

Minutes of searching passed and they arrived outside the labor room.

The nurse once again, intercepted these two visitors.

"May I know their affairs? No one is allowed to go inside."

"But I'm the father!" Dearka said without thinking. "I'm the child's father."

"There are too many fathers inside sir," the nurse said dully, immediately rejecting Dearka's plan.

"It was stupid of you to say that," Yzak commented as the nurse leaves.

She stayed in the hospital for four days. And she was able to have a brief reunion with her friends. She introduced Athrun to them, and Kira too.

On her third night, Dearka volunteered to watch over her as the others leave.

"So…" Dearka started while slicing an apple on his palm.

"Have you decided my dear friend?"

"Decided on?" Cagalli asked him back.

"On who's the one? The one you want to be with?"

Cagalli sighed. "Don't start with that again Dearka," she pleaded.

"Well it must be a very difficult choice for you. Considering the two of them are… well…"

"Handsome?" Cagalli finished Dearka's sentence.

"Exactly," the latter confirmed. " And hot too," he added.

"Oh stop it!" Cagalli said while laughing.

"Hey, Kira's like the most handsome man that I saw my entire homosexual days! And Athrun as well of course," he exclaimed.

"Then choose them for yourself," Cagalli retorted.

"No. Yzak would kill me."

"You know what, I haven't had any good laugh since we've separated," Cagalli confided.

"I'm your clown remember? The sexiest clown alive I guess," said Dearka.

"Now, finish these stuff and I'm on to the next." He placed the sliced apple on a saucer and retrieved the oranges on the adjacent table.

"You don't have to be torn into two Cagalli." His tone suddenly changed.

"You will only love once in your lifetime. Never let go of the chance."

Cagalli closed her eyes upon hearing those words. In her mind, she saw visions of people that she had met in her lifetime. Each of the faces faded.

And then there was Kira, smiling back at her.

The midnight rain ceased, leaving the air humid and cool. It was the night that sprawls on everyone's sleeves. The day will come, but not just yet. For the blackness of the sky preserves the wonders of the solemn night, and the fragile soul dissipates towards the abyss, into the meandering stream of dreams.

**AN: This is a short update, done on a sleepless midnight on the 23rd day of this month… the day when I was born. **


	15. False Alarm

**_False Alarm_**

_Drenched and vulnerable to the cold, the world lay on the mercy of the skies filled with billions of raindrops, falling like tears. It was the time to cry…_

For the last month of her maternal leave, Cagalli stayed at home to recover and take care of her newborn son. The child was so little, that he can hardly fill a shoebox. This child seems to develop a personality quite too early. He was always quiet, and asleep. Whenever hungry, he would just give out faint whimpers, to alarm his mom that it's feeding time.

"He might have got the _silence_ from you," Cagalli told Athrun.

"No, it's you who's always silent," Athrun countered.

They haven't reconciled on the question- from whom did the child inherit this uncanny attitude?

"Maybe he got that from Kira," Athrun said.

"A possibility."

"How is he anyway?" Athrun asked.

Cagalli was combing her hair with her hands, facing the mirror just in front of their bed.

"He went abroad with Katherine. He said she wanted to have a vacation. I presume Lacus didn't argue with Kira, taking their child with him."

"No. I hope not," Athrun replied.

"When will he come back?" Athrun asked once more.

Cagalli shrugged her shoulders. "Maybe he won't come back. He sold his house before they left." She sounded indifferent, uncaring.

But he knew the story behind those unreadable eyes of hers, reflected on the glistening mirror.

"How are you feeling?" he whispered.

"What do you mean by that?"

"I just know you too well…"

She looked back at him. He was sitting on their bed, studying her expression.

"When I first saw those green eyes of yours, somewhere deep inside me, I felt like looking at myself. It was a lonely sight," she confided. They were staring at each other's eyes.

"Funny how we seem to fit each other… maybe we're soul mates," she continued.

"When I was young, I romanticize the idea of having a soul mate. A destined partner."

"But it's your heart that should decide Cagalli," he said with a sad smile.

She blinked twice, unable to understand what he had meant.

"In fact, it has decided before destiny could. It's not me Cagalli."

Tears followed his painful smile…it was her tears. He reached out for her and kissed her forehead.

"It _must_ be you. But why can't I…." she sobbed.

He locked her with his firm embrace. Then he laid her back against to bed. They stayed that way for countless of minutes.

"When I saw you on the street back then, I thought of the rain."

"Rain?" she asked.

"I have been desiccated for too long." He smiled.

He stroked her hair with his hands.

" Cagalli, if I ask you to marry me… would you do it?"

"Why wouldn't I," she meekly replied.

He chuckled.

"Are you proposing to me right now?" she asked once more.

"I have been waiting for your answer for a long time. You love Kira, yet you're okay with the idea of marrying me? You're a confused girl Cagalli."

"I guess I'm all confused since the day when I met you."

He shifted his position, partly covering her. "Do you have a slightest feeling for me?"

"I love you!" she replied.

He laughed. "Yeah, you love me, as much as you love Dearka and Yzak."

She looked away.

"But I'm okay with that. I couldn't replace him, and I won't."

Silence followed.

"So, are you planning to sleep already?" he asked.

"I'll check on our baby first." She lifted herself up and went to the crib beside the bed.

"He's so cute, and solemn," she said. He went over the crib to see his child.

"I'm thinking of a name for him," he said.

"Gaius."

"Yeah, I was thinking of the same name."

"So it's settled."

Four months have passed and Cagalli went to work again. She was holding a batch of sophomore students, studying the basics of quantum physics. She and Athrun hired a nanny to look after their baby, named Gaius.

The concept of quantum physics is simple. It deals with the composition of matter, on a molecular and subatomic level. It is similar to life, composed of interwoven souls, relationships and actions, behaving in a defined space, at a particular time.

One afternoon, while she was about to finish her final class, Cagalli received an unexpected call.

It's from Lacus.

"Hello?"

"It's me… Lacus."

"Why?" she said coldly.

"Are you free this afternoon? A coffee perhaps."

"Okay."

She drove towards the coffee shop where she and Athrun usually go. Lacus was sitting on the farthest table, with her hands placed on her lap. Cagalli walked towards the place, and removed her reading glasses. Lacus saw her walking towards the table. She stood and smiled meekly, partly avoiding her eyes.

"I'm sorry for this…" Lacus stammered. "You see, I wanted to apologize for what I have done."

"It's over Lacus, and I'm also sorry," Cagalli confessed.

The waiter approached them and asked for their orders.

"Peppermint tea please," Lacus said.

"Cappuccino for me," Cagalli added.

"So, how are you now?" Cagalli asked her former foe.

"I've finished my therapy. And I'm getting married, again."

"Good for you," she commented.

"Kira hasn't come back yet. But he calls me regularly. He said Katherine was enjoying the snow over the north, that he can't leave the place just yet. He loves Katherine very much," Lacus said as she sips her tea. "How about you Cagalli?"

"Still the same. I'm teaching once again."

"I see, and Athrun… and the baby?" As if she had swallowed a bottle of firecracker after saying those words. She was still guilty of almost causing Cagalli miscarriage.

"We named him Gaius, after the sun god's first son."

Lacus gave out a meek laugh.

"We named our child Katherine, the goddess whom Gaius fell in love with. Funny coincidence."

"Too much I guess. This life is really a circus don't you think?" Cagalli answered.

"You're marrying…" Cagalli let her words hang.

"Shinn," Lacus revealed. "Kira learned about it. They're getting along now, at least the past has been forgotten."

"How about you and Athrun?"

It was Cagalli's turn to sip her cappuccino.

"He asked me to marry him."

"And?"

"I was about to give the answer, this Friday."

"Two days from now, pretty demanding guy."

The afternoon sky turned gray, and drops of rain slowly drifted along the streets. Feeling the cold, Lacus wrapped her arms around herself. Then she asked Cagalli.

"Will you marry him?"

"I don't know," Cagalli answered.

"Think about it. I thought I had the answer to everything, and that I could be happy, but then I was wrong. Don't make the same mistake Cagalli."

She regarded her with a solemn eye.

"Thank you."

The hours seem to run fast, and sooner than she expected, it was the day when she was supposed to answer his proposal. The day was a routine as it was before. She went to teach for almost 6 hours, both lecture and laboratory. At lunch, Athrun called her and told her to come home early. She wasn't prepared to go home, anytime soon. It was already four in the afternoon when the classes were over. She found herself walking along the school hall, as everyone leaves the school grounds. She was alone, feeling unsettled, and uncomprehending at the same time.

Her phone rang. A familiar number displayed on the screen. It was Kira's.

"Cagalli… we have arrived. I'm in the airport."

She wasn't able to say anything. The other line kept on talking.

"I was going to ask you. Could you please pick us up? Kathy is a little heavy. I couldn't find any cab here."

He was carrying the child; asleep on his shoulders, while two large suitcases were on his left and right hands.

"I'll be there. Wait for me," she said.

She stormed towards the parking lot, and drove to the airport.

She saw him on an unoccupied bench. He went forward and anticipated her as she approached.

"Thank you," he said. He had grown a little weight, and his hair was longer. His purple eyes still have the same appearance. Like liquid jewels floating on a sea of white water. She found herself lingering at this familiar vision once more. She immediately drew her eyes off him, and reached out for Katherine, sleeping on his shoulders.

"She was very tired. I had to talk to her a dozen times, and convince her to go home."

"You've sold your house right? Where will you stay then?" Cagalli asked.

"I bought a smaller house near her school. But the developer said it'll take a week to prepare the place, so we'll stay on a hotel for a while."

"You could stay at the house," Cagalli suggested. But soon she began to wonder why did she suggest such a thing.

Kira was surprised. "Really? Umm… no. We'll be okay in the hotel." Then he paused for a while.

"Maybe, if you don't mind, we could stay in your house just for tonight. Just so Katherine can have her sleep, decently."

"Okay," his sister agreed.

Six-thirty in the evening. She drove towards the gates of her house. Athrun's car was already there.

She went inside, with Kira, following.

The kitchen smelled basil and nutmeg. The plates were clattered and hurried movements, heard.

"Athrun, I'm home," Cagalli announced.

"Just in time, dinner's ready," the voice behind the kitchen door answered. A man-wearing apron went out, carrying two plates of pasta. It was Athrun with a smile etched on his face. A smile that soon faded into a question, upon seeing Kira.

**AN: I had to cut this chapter, for I have to eat breakfast he he…**


	16. False Alarm 2

**False Alarm II**

It was an unexpected encounter- a premonition came to life. The man he didn't want and hoped to see on that night was standing before him. Athrun felt like dropping the plates onto the floor. Cagalli on the other hand was trapped between the two of them. The silence was deafening. A vacuum.

It was Kira who first spoke.

"Good evening Athrun."

Athrun nodded to return his gesture. He turned and went towards the table. Silently placed the two plates on it, removed the candles illuminating its center, and the flowers too. Kira felt something was about to happen that night. He wasn't aware it, and was embarrassed upon seeing Athrun " clean up" the area he had prepared. Clean up the event he had hoped to happen.

"No, Athrun…" Cagalli interrupted. "Please don't take those away." She went to him and took the flower vase from his hand.

"I'll prepare something for Kira," Athrun replied. "Just place those flowers in the living room."

"But…" Cagalli wasn't able to protest when Athrun shoved her away and went towards the kitchen. She turned and met Kira's solemn face, with tears in her eyes.

Kira wasn't able to say anything as Cagalli ran towards the living room, clutching the vase with her hands.

Kira followed Athrun towards the kitchen. He found him on the sink, mixing tomatoes and pesto in a bowl.

" I didn't mean to…" Kira said.

"She was supposed to give me her answer tonight. I proposed to her," Athrun toned.

The dripping water from the faucet filled the silence that came after. Kira leaned on the kitchen door and watched his rival fill the bowl with black olives. Athrun continued what he's doing without speaking further.

" I wasn't aware of it," Kira explained.

"I know."

Katherine woke up and searched for her dad. Kira left the kitchen and went to the living room where his daughter was, while Cagalli intentionally locked herself on her room, with her son. It seemed like the house was too small for the three of them. Athrun on the other hand prolonged his work with the tomatoes, pressing them with a wooden spoon; never blinking as the red juice sips out from the distorted flesh.

Dinner was ready.

The three of them seated a chair apart from each other, never looking at each one's eye. Katherine devoured her food while Cagalli gingerly ate. Little Gaius was sleeping on the portable crib beside her chair. Kira only had two bites, and then drank a lot of water, while keeping an eye on Katherine. Athrun was on the farthest side of the table, relentlessly masticating...

It was indeed the most awkward moment among the three.

"How did your vacation go?" Cagalli asked.

Kira was wiping Katherine's face with table napkin when he heard the question. "Kathy loves the snow. She said she wants to take them home, but I told her it isn't possible."

He laughed after saying that. "My daughter's starting to be like her mom."

"She wanted the impossible to happen," Athrun interrupted.

Cagalli froze. Athrun continued.

"Lacus wanted something that's impossible for you to give right?"

Kira managed to look straight at him, with his expression unreadable.

Athrun continued his monologue.

"Perhaps the same goes for me…" He immediately left his seat after saying that.

"I'll go get some dessert…"

Kira and Cagalli were speechless. They watched him shut the door.

"Dessert!" Katherine exclaimed. Kira's eyes landed on his sister's. No words.

He returned to the dining area with a bowl on his hand. Fruit salad.

"I can hardly find strawberries but I was lucky the grocery near the port has some from the last season." He scooped some and placed it on Katherine's saucer.

"Enjoy it," he said smiling.

"You?" Athrun asked while handing the bowl over to Kira. The latter accepted.

There were strawberries, peaches, and raisins. The taste was more of sour than sweet, but the cream managed to balance the two… just like the air that links the land from the sea.

Cagalli turned to check on Gaius. The baby was asleep after finishing his milk.

"He's such a quiet thing. I rarely hear him cry," Athrun commented.

"He's just giving those silent whimpers whenever hungry, or when his diaper's full. I couldn't imagine a baby behaving like that."

"But our son is like that," Cagalli stressed. "Maybe he was born to withstand life without making any noise."

"But a silent cry…" Kira finished.

They were again in the kitchen. Kira was helping Athrun wash the dishes and Cagalli took over in watching Katherine.

"Listen Athrun," Kira spoke.

"If she decides to be with you, then there's nothing I can do about it. I know… that I have been selfish…"

"But that's just it right?" Athrun interrupted. "When you love someone, you become selfish. It's not as if I am being selfless either."

The plates made a silent clatter as the two of them exchange words.

"If she says "no" then I would respect her decision. But that doesn't mean I'd give up right?"

Kira looked away. "If she says yes…"

"What would you do Kira?"

It was difficult for him to breathe. Thinking of the possibility hurts and the reality of it… is even more painful.

"She's still my sister. Perhaps that thing wouldn't change."

Athrun grunted.

"You know what, I feel like I'm like a villain in those movies." He gave Kira a piece of cloth for wiping the plates. "She is more like a porcelain. She's fragile. A wrong word could break her heart, and her spirit."

"I know," Kira whispered.

"Honestly, I thought you didn't."

"What?"

"You were as fragile as her my friend. The two of you, have so much in common."

"Athrun, Cagalli and I cannot…"

"Maybe that is for the world to decide on, Kira."

"Someday, when our children grow up, I know this reality will be hard for them to accept. But that's life isn't it?"

"Athrun…"

"If she refuses my offer, I'll still be around, as the father of my son. It's up to you Kira. What would you do when that time comes."

He tapped Kira's shoulder and left.

It was already midnight. Kira stayed with Katherine on his old room. While watching his daughter sleep, he began to recall the memories of his childhood. He and Cagalli used to share rooms when they were children. Cagalli couldn't sleep with the lights on, so Kira wasn't able to stay up late and read his books- he has to close the lights. Usually, it was Cagalli who falls into slumber first. He on the other hand would sit there and unconsciously watch her until his eyes grow tired. She used to borrow his shirt, and she loved his baseball cap so much. He used to play baseball when they were at elementary grade. But soon, his interest suddenly changed. He became more involved with computers. She on the other hand, was a geek ever since. She usually got perfect scores in exams, while he was barely passing. She loved Physics and Chemistry, the two things he despised in high school. Whenever she learns about his love affairs, she would barge into his room (because in high school they already have separate rooms), and interrogate him.

"_So, what's the name of the lucky girl?" She says with eyebrows raised._

"_Did you sleep with her?"_

"_You've spent the night outside eh? Since when did you start being promiscuous?_

Then she would jump into his bed and close the lights.

"_I'm sleeping here," _she declares.

She was always jealous of other girls, as he was whenever men ask permission from him to date Cagalli.

"_Why did you go out with that loser? He didn't even get any permission from me?"_

"_You won't go out with anyone, without my approval,"_ he announced to her, one time.

The two of them were unconsciously playing the game of love, of hide and seek. Until one day when he woke up with her, sleeping beside him. The way she nestled on his shoulders, with her silent breathing almost as thin as air. He knew it.

He was in-love with his own sister.

Thoughts of her kept circling on his head. It was in this room where he first made love to her- that night of her arrival from overseas. He was already married then.

Holding her hand, feeling her soft body against his own, and hearing her silent cry… all of these makes him feel alive. She belonged to him, he knew it, but on that night, she was on her room with another man. How he aches with the thought of her being held by Athrun…

Athrun was sitting on the other side of the bed and Cagalli on the opposite.

"Hey…" Athrun spoke.

"Umm?"

"I'd like to ask… if it's okay…"

"What about?"

Athrun held back. Cagalli soon figured out what he meant.

"The marriage…"

He nodded.

The words couldn't come out of her. She was clinging on to the sheets as she closed her eyes.

" I've decided… I don't want to lie to myself, but right now, I don't think I could accept anyone in my life. Neither you nor _him_."

"I… understand." He stood and walked towards her. Kissed her forehead.

"Thank you for telling the truth."

She nodded. "I want to live without hesitation, without hurting anyone, and most of all, I want don't want to rely on others for my happiness."

"That's the Cagalli I fell in love with," Athrun said with a smile.

She woke up the next morning, alone. On the kitchen, Athrun was preparing breakfast for her and for Gaius.

"Good morning," she greeted.

"Morning," Athrun replied.

"Where's Kira?"

"He left an hour ago. He told me not to wake you up. He said that they'd check out the house he bought and for the time being, they'll be staying in a hotel. I told him that this he could stay here much longer but he refused."

"I see…"

"He left me the address of the hotel so you could visit them whenever you want."

A piece of paper was handed over to her.

"Thanks." She placed it on her pocket.

"It's Saturday, mind if I buy some of your time?" Athrun asked.

"Where are we going?"

His response was a brief smile.

Athrun drove the car, with Cagalli on the passenger seat, and Gaius rested on the crib at the backseat.

"Where exactly are we going Athrun?" she asked out of curiosity.

"To the place where we first met."

They passed a few more streets, then the main highway, onto the familiar place. One of the apartment buildings came to Cagalli's attention. It was where Athrun was staying, before he moved in with her.

She got out of the car, with Gaius on her arms. The baby was still asleep after the long trip. Athrun opened the door.

Inside, everything seemed like it were before. All of Athrun's belongings were still there, except for his personal stuff and laptop.

"This place looks the same," Cagalli said.

"I told the landlady that I'd be coming back here so she cleaned the whole place."

He placed the car keys on the table, went to the fridge for some water.

"What do you mean by that?" Cagalli whispered.

"Since I already have a job, then I can afford staying on this place. I think it'd be appropriate for me to have a space of my own."

He paused, while she tried to absorb everything that he said. Then, he continued.

"That's exactly what I need right now. A space."

"So you're leaving…"

He nodded.

"I had the feeling that, you'd refuse my offer, so I made a backup plan for myself. I honestly don't want to be around you that often after that. I have to move on. I have to start living on my own once again. But of course I'd be around to look after Gaius, if you don't mind."

She remained silent.

"I'd like to ask a favor from you." He turned and went over the window.

"For this day… I'd like you to spend the rest of it with me."

There was a sound from the main street-the sound of marching bands, filling the emptiness in between them. The sun was high up, and the strong winds blew the curtains, and the feelings unsaid, towards somewhere unknown.

That night, he went to her house to get his belongings, and left soon after he collected all of them.

"If you need something, just call me okay?" he said as he packs his luggage on the car's trunk.

"Well," he said as he finished. "See you soon." He smiled as he went inside the car.

She remained speechless. Watched the car as it gains its distance. Closed the door behind her.

Her footsteps echoed as they hit the floor, and the walls around were cold. The kitchen door was left open, and the lights were turned off. She sat on the couch, looked at her face on the stained glass.

To her surprise, she saw tears flowing from her eyes.

He unpacked his luggage, and went to the canvas that he'd bought a couple of years ago. He wasn't able to paint anything on it, but on that night, his hands felt like moving. He grabbed the brush and oil paint, and watched his hands as they blindly move on the blank space before him.

It was Cagalli's image that his hands created. She was staring at the sunset, wearing a blue dress.

The paint spilled onto the floor and his tears fell onto them, but the two never came together.

Oil and water…

**AN: Thanks for reading and the reviews, the end is near...**


	17. I will Follow You into the Dark

**_I will follow you Into the Dark_**

Three months have swiftly gone by. It was like living a new life for Cagalli; raising her child alone, for most of the time. Athrun managed to visit them once or twice a week but after a month, he seldom called and visited for he had been preparing for an upcoming project. Kira hadn't been around either. Since that day he left her house with his daughter, she received no news from him. She didn't call him either.

It was the space that made her breathe easier, more comfortably. But soon, the same space began to betray her.

Being alone wasn't such a nice idea after all.

"_I want to live without hesitation, without hurting anyone, and most of all, I want don't want to rely on others for my happiness."_

Those words kept lingering on her mind on those sleepless nights, spent in solitude.

Is she certain that being in this state brings her happiness?

She however, found a nice company in the form of her son, Gaius. The child was always quiet, and she took her son's behavior as an opportunity. She spoke to him about her life, her childhood, her happiness and misery. It was an interesting monologue. The child would gaze at his mother with his golden-brown eyes, a genuine proof of his inheritance. When the sad stories came, the he would sniff as if he was crying… understanding what his mother had said.

"Your uncle Kira… and I…" Cagalli said while drinking her coffee. " We love each other, but it's not the kind of love that siblings must feel to one another. We owe you and Katherine an explanation when the time comes, but for now, all I want is your sympathy. Perhaps I'm scared… scared that you may not be able to forgive me someday, that's why I'm doing this." It might sound absurd, but her words somehow, had an effect on her child. It's as if the bond between them got stronger.

It was the child and insomnia… that must have developed some loyalty towards her.

And somehow, Gaius became a living proof of Athrun's existence in her life. A scar.

But this scar is worth taking.

It was her son's first birthday.

Cagalli went home early to bake a special cake for Gaius. Athrun called earlier, saying he might come late. She didn't invite Kira.

Carrying her grocery bag, she went to the kitchen and started her work. The nanny was left playing with Gaius on his room (formerly Kira's).

"_How to make the dough…"_ she read the instructions written on some book regarding cake making.

"Mix the flour, then six egg yolks, some salt, and refined sugar. Blend them using medium speed for about two minutes."

Sweat began to drop from her forehead. She hadn't done baking before, and she was known for being a bad cook.

_How could a cake come out of eggs and flour dust?_

She took a deep breath.

"All for Gaius," she told herself.

Looking at the bowl, she saw an irregularly shaped mass. It was mixture of different things that seem to make a new whole. She gazed at this figure, calculating it's probable mass, and volume. Then she placed it between her hands. The mass slid off and dropped instantly on the parchment paper beneath her hands, creating a swift low sound. Vibrating silently, the table surface welcomes the fall.

It was her life.

"Mix the cream with the strawberry slices, then add the warm chocolate fudge. When the dough is ready spread the filling throughout. Then, place it again in the oven at medium temperature for another fifteen minutes."

The kitchen oven closed, and she leaned against it, after giving a loud sigh of exhaustion.

It was already time for dinner.

She went to the dining area, holding a plate containing her own version of Fettuccine Alfredo, and the long awaited chocolate cake.

The nanny went over to help, while baby Gaius clung to his mama's skirt, while anticipating his first birthday cake.

"Mama…" the child said while pointing on the dark rounded mass on Cagalli's hand.

"It's your birthday cake baby," Cagalli replied with a smile.

She looked at the clock and somehow prayed that Athrun won't come. If the cake was bad, at least Gaius was the only witness, and victim of her "crime". And the child won't reprimand her for doing such an awful mess.

"Happy Birthday to you!" the two women ended the song. Gaius couldn't blow his candles yet, so Cagalli took the pleasure of blowing the single candle on top of the cake. Not long after, the nanny took her leave.

"So it's just the two of us again," Cagalli whispered. Gaius was busy dissecting his plate. The chocolate smudged on his pink cheeks as he sketchily dipped his hands over the chocolate icing.

He eyes wandered across her child's innocent face. His eyes, much like her own, his little nose and warm smile.

A sudden knock was heard, and a shadow went over the dining area. It was Athrun, carrying a huge bear. It was a stuffed polar bear with a soft fur, flowing like it was real.

"I'm late…" he said as his image appeared in front of her.

"Just in time for the cold pasta," she answered.

"How's my little boy?" He picked up Gaius form the other chair and cradled his son on his arms.

"Diddy!" Gaius exclaimed.

"Diddy?" Athrun chuckled.

"It's his word for "daddy"," Cagalli clarified.

She watched Athrun as he swings Gaius around and kisses his son's forehead.

"I missed you so much," he whispered. Then he looked at Cagalli. She was on the other side of the table. " Your mom… is as beautiful as ever," he said calmly.

"Thank you." Cagalli looked away from him.

"So, what's that?" Athrun pointed towards the plate.

"Fettuccine…"

"I'd like to have one please," he immediately muttered.

His hair was longer, and he's grown some mustache. The emerald eyes were not as intense but they have gained some sturdy air. He was different.

"Not bad, but you need more practice," he toned after eating a portion on his plate.

_Considerate as ever_ – she thought.

Had it been Kira, the only thing she's probably hear was.

Salty… 

_Kira…_ The name was so distant yet so heavy.

"Listen… can I borrow Gaius for a while?" Athrun asked.

"Borrow?"

"Yes. I may be gone for about two years. A major project has been given to me. More like an opportunity of a lifetime. So, if I may have _him_ for about a week? I'd appreciate if you consider."

Cagalli felt numb for a while.

A week without Gaius… 

She suddenly thought of refusing but she immediately dismissed it. After all, Athrun was her son's father.

But a week without Gaius means more space. Solitude.

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes.

"Yes you may have him…"

"Thank you," Athrun replied.

They were in the living room, with Gaius sleeping on Athrun's shoulders. He looked around and felt the same air, just like before.

"This place hasn't changed."

Cagalli sat beside him holding a tray. She gave him a cup of tea.

"I thought you prefer coffee than tea," he raised upon observing her sudden change of taste.

She smiled, and then took a sip form her cup. "I like its bitterness, much better than coffee."

Athrun took a sip for his cup. "Black tea."

There was silence after that.

"You've changed," he remarked.

"Have I?"

"You were calmer, much poised. Not the same emotional person that I used to know."

"Maybe changing myself, from the way I used to be… is my way of atonement."

"Atonement for what?"

"For everything that I've done," she whispered.

He sighed.

"Are you happy?" he asked.

"What?"

"I said… Are you happy?"

She looked away.

"No. The answer is written all over you."

He placed the sleeping Gaius over the sofa, and he went to the adjacent table. Picked up a picture that was taken long ago, when Cagalli was still in high school. On that same picture, was Kira. It was the two of them smiling warmly at the camera.

"I wish that I made you smile like that."

She glimpsed over the same photo. This was taken when they were 14, on a summer afternoon.

She remembered the smell of that day. There was some draught on that time of year. She was with Kira, and they were running across the fields, towards the annual summer party on the nearby town.

Before that picture was taken, Kira promised her that he'd take her to his "secret" place… the spot where the fireflies of summer gather every night. She was so excited after hearing that promise from him.

But it didn't happen because that night during the party, she saw him kissing another girl from their school. She cried so hard against her pillow that night, and never answered Kira's call.

Kira never left her doorstep either. He waited for her to open the door, and go with him, but she didn't leave her room. The promise was forgotten ever since that day.

She blinked twice after recalling that memory.

Athrun was gazing at her with solemn eyes.

"Move on and be happy," he said.

As those last words drifted on her mind, another sleepless night came.

That summer night smelled like it was coming back.

She was lying on her bed, but she was running far away.

Is this a dream? 

Her eyes wandered across the room. She was alone once more. She hugged herself tightly, felt the same flesh, like she does during those countless nights of longing. Then she recalled _his _smell.

He smelled like summer. The dryness of air, and the warmth of the sun. His brown hair and marvelous purple eyes.

She turned around beside her. Caressed the pillow, and the warm hand that nestled upon it. She moved closer and pulled it nearer. The hand moved and touched hers.

_The smell of summer… was beside her…_

The feeling embraced her, and she moaned against it. She wrapped her arms around him as the tears escape from her eyes.

"Kira… don't leave me…" she whimpered.

"I'll never leave you…" he answered back.

The darkness enveloped them as the cold dissipates into the night. But it was the fields that she saw, and his warmth that she felt.

**AN: Two or three chapters more**… 


	18. Fields of Gold

_**Fields of Gold**_

His scent lingers onto her skin, as she drifts into sleep. The sky, with the moon's shadow overhead lay silent.

With his hands, stained with sorrow, he tenderly ran his fingers along the sides of her face, then to her hair. She woke up and spoke his name.

"Kira…"

He closed his eyes and moved himself nearer. His lips touched hers and instinctively she locked hers with his own. Her palm rested on his back, caressing him ceaselessly until everything inside him melted away. The pretenses, the bitterness of solitude, were all gone. He deepened his kiss, accessing her vulnerable mouth with his own until his tongue touched hers. The sweetness of her taste reminded him of spring. She moaned against him, while her hands traveled across his white shirt, pulling them away. She wanted to feel his skin against her. He was feeling the same.

Her nightgown fell away, and his shirt followed.

They were staring at each other for a moment. She was half –naked, like him. Beneath the glow of the moon, her skin glistened like a pool of water and her eyes were burning. He saw it. Fields of gold were in her eyes. He thought of stopping time. He could marvel at this sight forever.

His rough hands reached out to touch her once more. He wanted proof the she was real. Satisfied that it was indeed real, he smiled. The boyish smile was still there. He was still a boy, who needs to be loved. Cagalli realized that.

_"Come… back to me…"_ he said with a little hesitation.

Her eyes welled with tears upon hearing those honest words. He had broken down all his defenses, and now, he was pleading for her to love him once more.

"I… have always belonged to you," she confessed. There was no shame, nor guilt in those words.

The words faded between them as he pulled her towards him. His kisses trailed from her forehead, to her lips, down to her fingers. He wanted to memorize her, to fill her every detail on his mind. She gave out a sigh as her skillful mouth touched her breast, caressing nipples thoroughly, and held on to him as tight as she could. Then his kisses went further, until he reached her navel. He stayed there for quite some time, while his hand drifted on the other piece of her lingerie, ripping it with his crude hands. He could still feel her tenseness as he touched her wet fragileness. It's been long since they made love, and the excitement within him is building up until he couldn't contain anymore. He slipped inside her, almost effortlessly, as her hips instantly locked against his own. He guided her as to move in time with his until such time when they moved in a single rhythm. He was flushing as the first gust of warmth flowed out from her, making him move in and out faster, until her spasms came. He knew it was coming, and so did she.

He lay there, helplessly contented with his arms wrapped around her waist. She was humming a song.

**_The shores of heaven, the seeds of spring _**

**_Was with me when I see you _**

**_Waiting for me on the endless skylights_**

**_Along the fields of gold… _**

He opened his eyes and realized that she wasn't with him. His eyes roamed across the ceiling, as the cold continued to seep on his skin. He moved up and turned towards the window. She was there, covered by the sheets, staring at the moon.

She was seated on a chair with her legs gathered up, and her hair spilled across her shoulders. He used to dream of seeing her like this. Thinking that his dream came true, he smiled as he approached her.

He leaned on the window and watched her with his purple eyes.

"Do you remember about the promise you made years before?" she asked.

"A promise?" he pretended not to know.

"You don't remember," she said with a low voice.

He knew what she was talking about. It was the promise that she made, about 10 years ago. He wasn't able to fulfill it she stood him up for the whole night. He tried to talk to her but she didn't reply to his call. He even slept on her doorstep until morning. It was the night of the annual summer party, when she saw him kissing his ex-girlfriend in high school. She was so infuriated that she left early that evening, and locked herself in her room.

Back then; he didn't realize that she was jealous of what he did. As he recalls the same memory he realized that she was already in love with him, long before he realizes his true feelings for her. Feeling a little guilty, he moved beside her, and caressed her back.

"I'm sorry," he sincerely said as he kissed her bare shoulder.

She laughed.

"You were always doing stupid things Kira."

"Yeah, it was indeed stupid of me. Do you want to see _that_ place?"

She nodded.

He moved away and went towards the door.

"Get dressed, I'll take you there."

"Now?" Cagalli felt surprised.

"Yes."

Sunlight peered through the windows of the car and it stirred her from the depths of slumber. Kira was silently driving and she was beside him. It was three hours after they left the house, and she didn't have the slightest clue on where they were heading.

"I remember when you told me that you were pregnant," Kira said without looking at her.

"I'm sorry… you were hurt," Cagalli confessed.

"I was… deeply. But Gaius is part of you, as much as Katherine is mine. You loved Katherine and I too, love your son."

He continued to drive without talking.

"Where are you taking me?" Cagalli noticed the scenery around her. The city was gone. It looked like they had gone out to the countryside. Few houses settled across the vast parchment of greenery.

She opened the window and took a deep breath. The smell of country road filled her lungs and she felt nostalgia all over her.

Somehow, this moment reminded her of that summer, when their parents passed away.

" We'll go back to the place where it all began," Kira said meaningfully.

They stopped at an old grocery store at the edge of the road. Kira opened the door for her and she stepped outside. She stretched her arms wide and felt like hugging him. She did hug him.

Caught off-guard by her blatant display of affection, Kira received her arms and reciprocated her embrace, lifting her partially off the ground.

They stayed like that for a while, then he chuckled and said, "I'm hungry…"

They had pancakes for breakfast, just like the old days. She placed a lot of maple syrup on her plate, while he sipped his black coffee. He ate a portion of his cake, but his attention was always on her. Observing and lingering at the same time.

"If you don't eat your share, I'd eat it," she told him.

"You're still a glutton when it come to pancakes. Remember how we used to squabble over those when we were kids? You always say that I get the big ones," he reminded her.

" You always get the big ones, while I settle for the scraps," Cagalli said while smirking at him.

Kira laughed. Then his tone went serious.

"Hurry up, we still have a long way to go."

It was another three hours until they reached their destination.

It was a century-old house, and it looked familiar to Cagalli.

"This was our ancestral house," she said as she left the car.

"I bought it back," Kira told her. She looked back at him with her eyes wet with tears. She remembered their mom and dad, and the summer when they went here to sell this property. They never thought they'd lose their parents that same day when the house was sold. And now, her brother bought it back.

"I couldn't bring mom and dad back, but this house is a family treasure. I want to preserve the memories of this family and this is the least thing that I could do," Kira confessed.

She remained still, while he continued speaking.

"I want to see how the future looks like, with you beside me."

He went closer to her and locked her in his arms. Her hair smelled the same as before, and her eyes, were of the same color. However she changed during those years, that didn't affect her self. Her heart always belonged to him.

Even thought the house looked old outside, the structure inside it was renovated and modernized. There were three rooms, a veranda, a spacious living room, dining area, and a couple of extra spaces. It was far different from the place where they used to spend vacation, during their childhood.

"Remember the annual summer party?" He asked.

She nodded.

"I found out that it became a tradition, and this year's party is tonight," he continued.

"But I…" Cagalli interrupted. She didn't want to go to party. She wanted to stay with him, for the rest of the day. For the rest of time.

"Since the we have the whole day to spend together, what would you want to do?"

Cagalli's brows furrowed.

Kira's eyes twinkled.

Before she could react, he went over her and carried her onto his arms.

"What do you have in mind," she asked him, but somehow, she already knew what he wanted.

"**I'm hungry…"** Kira said once more.

She woke up in the afternoon, partially exhausted form their lovemaking. Kira was not around. She went to the table near the window and found a note.

_I will return in a while. Food is on the table. Get dressed before sunset._

Three sentences. The surprise isn't over yet.

She devoured the food on the tray. It was corn soup and some steak.

She couldn't help but wonder where he'd gone to.

She went to the closet and remembered she didn't bring any clothes with her.

As she opened closet, she found a pair of green slippers and a dress that matches them.

_He had prepared for this moment…_ - She thought.

She had a nice long bath. The cool water dissolves the sweat on her skin as she took the liberty of soaking herself in it. Anxiously thinking what Kira had planned for the night, she forgot about the time. It's almost sunset.

Realizing that she was taking too long, she immediately got out of the bathtub and wrapped herself with the towel. She wore the dress and the slippers, and ran downstairs to see him.

Her footsteps echoed on as they slowly vibrate the wooden stairs, she hurriedly went down the staircase, towards the living room. He wasn't there.

An odd feeling struck her.

_Where could he possibly gone to? _

Not long after, the car's engine screeched outside the house. She saw him through the window as he came out of it, carrying nothing.

She opened the door and met him.

Kira saw her form the other side of the doorway. Wearing a dress that he chose with her little feet cuddled on those tiny slippers, everything about her was just as he hoped for. An image that he had long painted on his mind was standing before him.

"Come with me," he said calmly.

She obeyed. They were driving across the lengthy fields as the setting sun watches over the vividly orange sky. He was silent. The passionate air that surrounds him and his marvelously tinted purple eyes increased the anticipation, and the nervousness that she felt.

The sky was already tinged with purple and indigo, a sign of incoming darkness. The soft hum of the summer wind accompanied them as they got out of the car and strolled towards an unknown place.

"Kira…" Cagalli blurted out. She could no longer stand the silence. Then, just as she finished her words, a spark of light came flying towards her. And more came.

_Fireflies._

It's as if the tiny creatures acknowledge their presence, they gathered in between them, and some even settled on Cagalli's palm.

"The fireflies…." Cagalli said with a mixture of happiness and awe.

"Just as I promised," Kira spoke.

She ran along the fields, and the fireflies flew along, following her trail. The sun retreated, but the orange glow was still visible illuminating the great distance. He smiled and ran towards her.

It was the two of them; running freely, leaving the stained world on their feet.

A few paces after, he caught up with her, and nestled her on his arms. She was laughing merrily, and her eyes were full of life. He pulled out something out his pocket, to her surprise.

A diamond caught between twisted silver. A ring.

She stopped for a moment, and her heart did the same thing.

Kira placed the ring on her finger, and kissed it afterwards.

Everything was like a kaleidoscope, and it seemed like a dream. The fireflies were still there.

Kira whispered something to her ear.

"Come away with me…"

The offering was too much to resist. But somehow, at the back of her mind, she thought of Gaius, and of Katherine. She looked away and avoided his eyes.

"I know what you're thinking," Kira said.

"I … what about _them_?" she asked.

Her hand still clutched the ring. He moved away.

"I would leave my child and give her up if that's the only way I could be with you."

"What?" Cagalli reacted.

"Would you do the same for me?" he asked.

Confusion struck her. Could she possibly give up Gaius for Kira?

He was waiting for her answer.

"This… was a wonderful dream," she said. "But…I…"

"I understand," Kira finished.

She walked with him in silence. Her feet crashed the withered leaves as they wandered beneath the starlight.

The ring was still on her finger.

Kira was gaining a few paces away when Cagalli called out.

"Please Kira… don't… don't say goodbye to me once more!" Tears erupted out of her eyes. He stopped walking.

She knelt on the ground, crying as hard as she could.

**"I… love you!** I've never loved anyone in my life," she cried out. The cold night slowly sent shivers on her skin, and his warmth was fading.

"Don't leave me Kira!" she pleaded more. But his figure disappeared from her view. Slowly, until his silhouette was gone.

**"Cagalli !"**

She roused from the strange feeling. It was Kira, looking worried while shaking her.

_A dream? Since when?_- she thought.

They were on the airport, and Gaius was sleeping soundly at the back of the car.

"You're dreaming again," Kira told her.

Cagalli shook her head twice and tried to reabsorb everything that happened. Everything that she had dreamt _really_ happened, except for the last part. They were now taking Gaius to the airport to meet Athrun, who has just arrived from his trip overseas.

She was already living with Kira, and Katherine was staying with Lacus and Shinn.

Realizing everything that happened after that fateful day, she turned to smile at him.

"You've dreamt about _that_ summer again?" he confirmed.

She nodded. To Kira's surprise, she reached out and gave him a long kiss.

"_Finally,"_ she ended.

**AN: Not yet finished. It would definitely please me if you guys drop a review.****I'm beginning to consider leaving FF. net, so, would it be nice if I receive some token of appreciation from you who have been reading my stories…perhaps before I leave…**


	19. Black and Blue

**Black and Blue**

"Remember when we lost mom and dad, we thought the world would be over."

"When you went away, I thought I couldn't go on. I thought I couldn't bear those three years of separation."

"And then I saw you, standing there apart from the crowd on my wedding day, with your sorrowed eyes and torn shoes. You always give a distant look with those eyes."

"I used to tell myself when we were young, that I won't go out with someone as hot tempered and stubborn as you are; that a girl like you wouldn't find a boyfriend. Yet I was the first one to be compelled with those eyes, and everything that you possess."

"And so I waited for your return, and now, I'm _still_ waiting."

* * *

Scent of jasmine fills the pastel-painted room and sitting on a velvet cushion was a lady clad in white. She was looking at herself intently, her eyes boring through the large mirror before her.

She took a deep breath.

"You need this," someone spoke behind her. She turned on her side and saw a piece of bubble gum being handed out to her.

The man was smiling.

"Thanks," she replied. Chewed the bubblegum- or rather, attacked it with her jaw and teeth.

The man laughed.

"Nervous on your wedding day," he noted.

"Are you sure about the minister Athrun?" Cagalli said while chewing.

"It's not like a church wedding Cagalli. It's a civil-binding ceremony. You're already married in the eyes of … god, whoever and wherever he is."

She laughed at his description of her marriage with Kira.

"And I have a few interesting people for guests. My two gay friends (Yzak and Dearka), the ex-wife of Kira with her new husband (Lacus and Shinn), my first- born son and _his_ father, who turns out to be the principal sponsor for this event."

"The last one obviously refers to me," Athrun concluded.

"Precisely."

She left her seat and walked towards the window. It's a bit cold outside, and the clouds briefly shrouded the sun's radiance.

That day finally arrived.

" It looks like rain," she said.

The clock strikes three. It is time.

She turned around with tears on her eyes.

"How do I look?" she whispered.

Athrun walked towards her, and without hesitation, locked her in his arms.

"You… are…" he wasn't able to finish. He was already in tears.

He let her loose and wiped her tears with his hands, roughly shaking.

"You're ready," he said. As a final gesture, he kissed her on the forehead. A sign of blessing.

A sign of letting go…

The door's opened and suddenly, all is quiet.

Clad in a white empire cut gown, Cagalli silently walked towards the man she had long to be with, since she was young.

Her soul mate was on the end of the aisle, wearing a coffee brown suit, and a humble expression. His purple eyes were still marvelous.

The judge and minister were there, and the guests too. Someone said "hey" a she passed through and she turned to see who it was. She saw Dearka giving a sign of "two thumbs up" and beside him was Yzak, with eyes swollen from tears. She smiled at her two friends, and cocked her head sideways, indicating them to get married soon as she did.

As she approached the end, her groom stepped forward to anticipate her.

She remembered. He was always the one who's waiting…

* * *

­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­

Back when they were young, she got stranded inside the school premises due to the heavy rain. Kira already quit school due to their parents' death, while she studied college. She called him to meet her at the train station after work, but the sky kept on pouring itself on the streets. She's two hours late, and the trains were almost on their last trip.

The heavy rain caused her delay and she wasn't expecting him to be there since it's already midnight.

The night was chilly, it was about 18 degrees Celsius, and the temperature got even cooler after the shower. She ran for the train station but as soon as she reached the entrance she slowed her pace and searched for him.

When she couldn't find him, she decided to take the last trip and bought a ticket. Assuming that he already went home early, she went to the loading area and waited for the train. That was the time when she caught a glimpse on someone standing alongside the station's metal fence. The figure of a boy, about twenty was shivering out in the cold, wearing a blue jacket and white shirt beneath, his windswept brown hair partially drenched by the rain.

"Kira," she whispered, knowing surely it was indeed her brother.

She went to him, and as she got closer, she noticed that he wasn't responding. He was leaning on the fence, and his head was already stooped.

"Kira," she called out. And he slowly looked up at her.

He had fallen asleep.

She grabbed his trembling hands and noticed how deadly cold they were. On the contrary his body temperature was very hot.

"You have a fever. Why haven't you gone yet? You should be home by now," she scolded him while holding his hands.

He smiled at her, and dreamily replied.

"I waited for you… of course I couldn't leave."

"Stupid," she hissed. But she felt like crying that moment.

Kira has suffered much from their parents' loss. He quit school at an early age to look for a decent job, and he financed her college education. He said it would be better if one of them had a college degree, and he thought Cagalli would be that person, not himself. He was always like that, sacrificing, giving until there's nothing left for him- and those were the traits she lacks of.

When he drove her to the airport, on the day she went overseas for graduate studies, he told her that the rain might be a bad sign.

It was only later when she realized what he meant. He didn't want her to go. He didn't want to wait again. But she did leave. And their story began.

"I made you wait again," she told him, as he got nearer.

Kira chuckled. "This will be the last one."

The person to commence their union was a woman. A radical and spiritual lawyer who gained her rights to hold uncommon ceremonies as this one through the constitutional bill of civil marriages. She wore a maroon overcoat and a confident expression.

The two stopped in front of her and she spoke of a speech, to start the matrimony.

"To those amongst you who are against this union, better step out of this room. This wedding will not be put to hold."

Everyone was surprised. No one bothered stepping out. Neither Lacus, nor Athrun.

"It is because people who deny love are those who don't deserve love. And people who do accept love are the true children of our society and our god."

She continued her speech, while Kira drifted in a dream.

He was walking alongside a road covered with mist. He got tired of walking, so he began to run. He thought he could get to the end of it, but the road seems to stretch even farther. While running, he saw people on the background. His parents, his friends, and his daughter, and then he stopped suddenly after the long run.

He stopped and gazed at Katherine. She was smiling at him in a blue dress. The last one that she wore.

Daddy… her voice drifted while he reached out to her. I'm fine… Go… 

Katherine died about a year ago. Her heart stopped beating, the doctor simply said.

**Arrhythmia**.

Kira touched his chest, and felt the pain his daughter must have experienced. It was when Katherine died that he felt strongly of living.

He wasn't able to ask for her forgiveness. That's why he must live for her.

He wouldn't escape anymore. He'll run towards the end.

Then he felt warmth.

Cagalli must have known what he had dreamt of.

" **I am here,"** she whispered.

_So much has transpired and yet everyone looks forward and moves on. Like the changing season, feelings die and people go with them, but something new always arrives to soothe the grief of those who were left behind._

"When I grow up, I want to be like my dad," Gaius once told his classmates in preschool.

Twelve years after, he repeated the same quote. He was sixteen.

He said. " I want to be like my dad."

His girlfriend was his solo audience as he declaimed his oath.

"Why your dad?" his petite lover asked.

"Because he was the one who told my mom to look for her happiness. And she did. I want to be that kind of person."

Athrun got married three years after Cagalli and Kira did.

He put up an art studio, and worked as a full time artist. He gained custody for Gaius, while Cagalli had four days of visitation rights.

Lacus and Shinn had a daughter, and migrated overseas with Lunamaria.

Yzak and Dearka went separate ways.

Gaius entered an art university and frequently visits his mom's house every after school, until he reached second year.

Kira and Cagalli stayed at their house near the bay.

Years after however, everyone learned that Cagalli had a deteriorating nerve condition and Kira had to take her to a rehabilitation center.

She was with him when her last days begin to dawn.

And so, when her ashes were laid to the ground, Kira seemed to have figured what would happen next.

His remains were settled beside hers, beneath the tree where they used to play when they were kids.

For once a twin of souls existed. Life, not even death could separate them.

Their story lingered on as Athrun painted the two of them, facing the sunset.

* * *

**AN: This is it. I want to clarify things. Stories are usually made to be able to entertain. However in my case, stories are made in order to send a message, to inspire and to teach. I know some of you might not be happy with this ending, but as the author of this story, I stand firm to what I write in here. Thank you for reading this fic, and I feel like obliging you to write a review. **


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